OUR DAUGHTER

We are going to {her}.We have a daughter.

 

The dossier is in. The homestudy has been amended. Immigration too.

And God never ceases to stun us with His perfect plans.

I can honestly say...we didn't see this one coming.

Even I, the girl who thinks of every possible scenario under the sun for even simple things,
did not see this one coming. But God...He did. He knew all along and we follow.

"I am God, and there is no other;
I am God, and there is none like me. 
I make known the end from the beginning,
from ancient times, what is still to come.
I say: My purpose will stand,
and I will do all that I please.
From the east I summon a bird of prey;
from a far-off land, a man to fulfill my purpose.
What I have said, that will I bring about;   

what I have planned, that will I do."

Isaiah 46:9-11

The email came in. The question was asked. The answer prayerfully and joyfully given...yes!

She needs a home, a family, a mommy, a daddy, the love of Jesus in her life. We were already prepared to say yes to such an email, we just didn't realize that we would be saying yes to our girl. This is why I thank God that He is God and I am not. He knew all along that this little bundle was to be our daughter.

Looking back, the preceding weeks had brought preparations that seem obvious in retrospect. 2 groups of 2 little girls had stayed in our home on 2 different occasions and my heart knew that it longed for more daughters. I must have told everyone that week, because it was so clear. I just laugh thinking back that God knew the surprise package He had waiting for us. How delightful to be the parent with the secret gift for a beloved child. It makes me smile to think of it. :)

“The secret things belong to the LORD our God."

Deuteronomy 29:29

And what of the other son our hearts have been prepared for?

He has a name. He is already in our hearts. We will still go to him too, should the Lord lead.
In God's perfect timing he will be made known to us if he is meant for our family. Time will tell...

For now, it looks like God's plans are (and were all along) for one precious little boy
and one teeny baby girl to join our growing family...and gratitude overflows.

"May our sons in their youth be like plants full grown, our daughters like corner pillars cut for the structure of a palace."

Psalm 144:12

Another whirlwind of a week under our belts, and God continues to lead us every step of the way. We learn of the God-sent ones who care for them now. We thank God for employing their nurturing arms and hearts. How special to know that our children are in good hands/Good Hands. I'm thankful for both, thankful as well to be sharing this journey with dear friends. What a gift!

Nothing this week happened as we expected, but (again) that's what we expected. We remain prayerful, trusting, holding loosely to the reigns as we follow the Lord on this journey to our daughter. She is very young and vulnerable but her life is in God's hands.

So, God has revealed the other little soul we were waiting for...we just didn't know she was a "she" until now.

We're thankful this is how our adoption journey is playing out, because it's clearly God's story planning ours.
 

We're thankful that He is in control and we are not.

We're thankful that God is always good and His plans are best.

And we're deeply thankful that He has led us to our daughter.

"Do not be afraid, for I am with you;
I will bring your children from the east
and gather you from the west. 
I will say to the north, ‘Give them up!’
and to the south, ‘Do not hold them back.’
Bring my sons from afar
and my daughters from the ends of the earth —
everyone who is called by my name,
whom I created for my glory,
whom I formed and made. ”

Isaiah 43:5-7

ADOPTION IS BEAUTIFUL

...and a sweet reflection of what God has done for us. He gave us hope when we were hopeless, welcomed us into His family, and loves us as His own Son. What a privilege to overflow with that which we've received.

Adoption is beautiful!

"See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are." 1 John 3:1

"Even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace." Ephesians 1:4-6

What an honor to mirror the Father's love as we embrace new little ones into our home. Sometimes I ask myself, how did I miss this before? How did I not clearly see the beauty of adoption? For years I had children and thought adoption "was noble, but not for me". And my empathetic heart asks, how in the world could I have missed it? The answer, of course, is that God has appointed a time, a perfect, beautiful time according to His sovereign plans. There's no mistaking it now, this is His timing for our family.

When I look back on the catalysts to our adoption's beginnings I am spurred on to encourage others to simply put their eyes on adoptive families, videos readily available on the internet, sermons that sing of the heavenly Father's heart for adoption, books that inspire and educate. I look back and see how God worked in our hearts and I long to encourage as I was encouraged before.

I've noticed that if we are willing to open just the tiniest crack in the window of our heart, the Lord swoops in and reveals His heart to ours. He opens wide the doors which were closed and bit by bit, we become changed. It becomes undeniable, if we willingly take the first step of faith.

I realize that sometimes that's just too scary. What if everything changes? It might. What if I lose the life I'm used to? We will. What if I'm inadequate to take on another child? We are, but God's not. What if, what if, what if?

The answer to every what if is GOD. He is able. He is strength. He is peace. He is joy. He is LOVE and...

"We love because he first loved us." 1 John 4:19

"If God so loved us, we also ought to love one another."
1 John 4:11

Once we set our eyes on the needs of the world and allow God to open our eyes to His will, we realize that we become responsible, accountable to that which we've been called as imitators of God.

"Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children." Ephesians 5:1

And Paul confirms:

"Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ." 1 Corinthians 11:1

"By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers. But if anyone has the world's goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God's love abide in him? Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth." 1 John 3:16-18

"Rescue those who are being taken away to death; hold back those who are stumbling to the slaughter. If you say, 'Behold, we did not know this,' does not he who weighs the heart perceive it? Does not he who keeps watch over your soul know it, and will he not repay man according to his work?" Proverbs 24:11-12

I once was blind, admittedly, but now I see, thankfully. I praise God for giving me His sight and even His courage to follow Him into a new season in our lives. He makes everything beautiful in its time and He will bring to fruition His appointed time. We cannot thwart His plans.

We've been adopted by our Father God and we've been given the opportunity to extend His love as an expression of He who lives within us. What a privilege!

Adoption is many things, but mostly, adoption is about God's love. He loves us. He loves them. He loves you. He's grafted us into His family and He's asking us to express His love to others...and it feels beautiful.

"He has made everything beautiful in its time."
Ecclesiastes 3:11

"For the coastlands shall hope for me...to bring your children from afar...for the name of the Lord your God, and for the Holy One of Israel, because he has made you beautiful." Isaiah 60:9

"The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me,
because the Lord has anointed me
to bring good news to the poor;
he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim liberty to the captives,
and the opening of the prison to those who are bound;
to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor,
and the day of vengeance of our God;
to comfort all who mourn;
to grant to those who mourn in Zion—
to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness instead of mourning,
the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit;
that they may be called oaks of righteousness,
the planting of the Lord, that he may be glorified.
They shall build up the ancient ruins;
they shall raise up the former devastations;
they shall repair the ruined cities,
the devastations of many generations."
Isaiah 61:1-4

ADOPTION IS UNEXPECTED

...and that's to be expected. Considering we went into our adoption pretty open-minded, we sure have been surprised as this has all played out.

Adoption is unexpected!

We've learned a lot about letting go of our "plans" and surrendering our lives to the will of God instead. His plans are always best and better than our own. When we yield to Him, He's trustworthy to reveal what He intends.

"Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand." Proverbs 19:21

Will we resist when changes come?
Will we fear when the unpredictable arrives?
Will we plant our suppositions on what we've thought we would do?

[OR]

Will we prayerfully surrender our lives to God's perfect will?
Will we cast our anxieties on Him, since perfect love casts out fear?
Will we follow the Good Shepherd into the unknown?

These are absolutely questions we've asked ourselves this past year of our adoption, in particular as we have had key decisions to make.

A twist of unexpected events has landed in our inbox and we've made our choice to say yes. No picture was needed, just prayer, and unity amidst our family.

"The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O LORD, endures forever." Psalm 138:8

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

"The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake." Psalm 23:1-3

Soaking in truth, we proceed, and another member joins our clan. Mystified (stupefied, really) we wonder how this all happened and yet we walk through the open door, knowing that God is in control. Guarded, my heart awaits the next chapter of this unexpected journey, but I trust the One who's leading...SO much more than myself and I welcome His unexpected adventure.

We pray and cling and trust and pray, knowing we're in Good Hands. We could never have written our story as wonderfully as God has chosen to write it. We could never have predicted what He already knew. And we've settled our minds to just watch it unfold as the Lord deems best, keeping our focus on Him, no matter what the future brings.

My heart rejoices as we welcome a new little precious soul into our family and I love that God has chosen for us what we never saw coming. Nevertheless, we resolve that it's alright with us that adoption is so predictably unexpected, because we know that there are no surprises for Him.

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11

ADOPTION IS SUBJECT TO IDOLATRY

...and yet God warned us clearly.

“You shall have no other gods before me...For I the LORD your God am a jealous God." Exodus 20:3,5

"Therefore, my beloved, flee from idolatry."
1 Corinthians 10:14

We see it all the time and in almost every facet of life. Idolatry in it's sneakiest form comes by way of seemingly good things that become idols of the heart, and adoption is one of them.

The way I tend to test my heart for any impending rivalry with my devotion to God is to ask myself what I think of first when I wake in the morning. Do I greet God with, "Good Morning, Lord! I can't wait to see what you have in store for me today...?" or is my mind racing with thoughts of other things and agendas of my own? The first thoughts of my heart in the morning are a sure sign of where my treasure lies and how my priorities are ordered.

Do I turn to my Bible and prayer first in the morning and return throughout the day or do I get distracted by the inevitable tasks of life? Do I read books or talk to people before I read God's Word and talk to Him? What portion of my day is spent at His feet, seeking His council, and praying to the only One who has the power to influence every circumstance?

Do we really think we can (with permanence) accomplish anything in our own strength? If we do, we are sadly mistaken and destined for disappointment at some point down the line because the only true source of sustenance is God alone. Nothing good, even adoption, even successful human relationships, can fill our longing for purpose. That position is God's.

"For great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised,
and he is to be feared above all gods.
For all the gods of the peoples are worthless idols,
but the Lord made the heavens.
Splendor and majesty are before him;
strength and joy are in his place."

1 Chronicles 16:25-27

Our sinful nature lures us into temptations of all kinds everyday, idolatry being one, but just like any other sin we are accountable to God for how we respond. Thankfully, we're forgiven when we turn from our sin in repentance. And gratefully, we are restored when we put God back in His rightful place in our hearts. He should be number one...everything else follows.

"But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you." Matthew 6:33

It takes some redirecting and a dose of intentionality, but once we have established that loving God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength comes first, He reciprocates by directing our path straight according to His best design. We yield and He leads. It's as simple as that. May the first thoughts of our morning be:

Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, 

for I have put my trust in you.

Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.

Psalm 143:8 

When it comes to our adoption, I am frequently asked about the waiting and the longing and the efforts involved in the process. So I ask myself as well, how am I doing with all of that? My honest reply is that I'm doing my best to ask God to continually keep me focused on Him, believing that He will accomplish the rest. I'm thinking about Him, knowing that He is with our children and more capable of caring for them than me.

I believe with all my heart that if my focus remains the Lord, then He will fulfill all my other needs and desires. He will orchestrate the dealings of our adoption according to His flawless plan and I will, with childlike faith, follow His lead as He does.

So, my perpetual prayer is that we may resist the temptation to idolize seemingly good things (including our adoption). And, by God's grace, that we may remember He alone is worthy of our wholehearted devotion. When we get this underlying truth straight and permanently foundational in our lives, the rest of the details resolve, we find ourselves at peace, joy overflows, and rest invades our souls.

Thank you, Lord for showing us clearly in your Word what we should and should not idolize. Thank you for adoption and for also reminding us that it is you alone we worship. We need the intercession of Christ to pray as we should and keep our hearts ordered as you desire. Thank you for loving us in spite of our failures. Thank you for the cross, where we lay our sins down in repentance and gratitude for your mercy and grace. May you alone be glorified through adoption as we remain at your feet in spite of all the other things we can busy ourselves thinking about and doing. And may you alone be the reason why we love others with your love to the praise of your great name. Amen.

"Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet and listened to his teaching. But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, 'Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.' But the Lord answered her, 'Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.'" Luke 10:38-42

{What can we learn from Mary?}

ADOPTION IS SPIRITUAL WARFARE

...and God said it would be.

 

In fact, raising children and parenting in general is spiritual warfare.

The Bible tells us so.

"Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth."

Psalm 127:4

Make no mistake about it, there is a real enemy who prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour,

and he does not like adoption. He does not like fatherless children landing in loving, God-honoring homes.

And he is bound and determined to discourage all involved.

"Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour."

1 Peter 5:8

So this is where we cling to the promises given.

This is when we take captive our thoughts, focus on the good, and pray to the One who is really in charge. This is when we don the armor of God with rightful authority, and the peace of God follows in victorious triumph over our defeated foe.

"Be strong and courageous.

Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the LORD your God who goes with you.

He will not leave you or forsake you.”

Deuteronomy 31:6

"Submit yourselves therefore to God.

Resist the devil, and he will flee from you."

James 4:7

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."

Philippians 4:6-8

"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.

Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace.

In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance."

Ephesians 6:10-18

So, when tempted to despair the spiritual attacks that will come with adoption and raising arrows of warfare for God,

we must remember the promises given in Scripture.

We must remember who is really in control.

We must remember why we are doing what we are doing.

And we must remain alert, watchful, and faithfully reliant upon God,

knowing full well that the battle belongs to the Lord.

"The horse is made ready for the day of battle, but the victory belongs to the LORD."

Proverbs 21:31

Thank you, Lord, for your promises. Thank you that we can trust you for all things. Thank you for loving us and keeping us in the shelter of your wing. Thank you for victory over the defeated evil one. Thank you for training us in battle and leading us in conquering procession when adoption brings with it spiritual warfare. Thank you for your perfect peace.

 "You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you."

Isaiah 26:3