WAITING

It's been a while since I've written about our adoption, primarily because we've been waiting.

wait·ing-  Adj. being and remaining ready and available for use

"For still the vision awaits its appointed time;
  it hastens to the end—it will not lie.
  If it seems slow, wait for it;
  it will surely come; it will not delay."  

  Habakkuk 2:3

And, all the while, my heart swells and throbs and aches for my children. It is said that every adoption begins with a tragedy and knowing this hurts. No parent wants to hear that their child is suffering! But we know that God intends ALL for good.

"As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good."

Genesis 50:20

We met with our agency and heard more of the conditions where our sons are living. It can make a parent's mind mad if you think too hard about it, so I give it back to God. I pray and I thank Him that He is still good, even when things seem so very bad, even unfair. But God is just and I believe it.

I plead with Him on their behalf, knowing in His omnipresence that He is with my children now. They may not be known yet by me, but they are intimately known by Him. They have been.

I thank Him for loving them with a compassionate vengence so great that He beckoned us to go to them. I trust with my whole heart that He knows them by name and it's not up to me to find them. I know that He knows exactly where they are and just what they need. And, surely they don't need me, but God has chosen me and I waffle. Why me? Then I remember...

"Be still, and know that I am God."

Psalm 46:10

And He is good at being God.

So, I remember my part and I focus on waiting defined (being and remaining ready and available for use) and I make a choice that I can do that, not in my strength, but in His.

"Blessed is he who waits."

Daniel 12:12

I listen to the song, "I Belong", and pray for my little ones, longing to be the one to comfort them. In my heart already, they belong with me. But God's timing is perfect and He will not delay. He has appointed a time and I cannot miss it. They belong to Him and nothing can separate them from His love.

"For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Romans 8:38-39

Prayerfully and patiently we are waiting...being, remaining, ready, available for use. God's will be done.

"I waited patiently for the Lord."

Psalm 40:1

JESUS ACTS & MARBLE JARS

 

I think I must be nesting...in a "paper pregnancy" sort of way. As the school year comes to a close,

I'm reflecting on all that's transpired since fall. Crisp school supplies have served their purpose well.

Buckets of broken crayons and shortened colored pencils will scribble their last through summer.

I consider what's worked well and wonder what could use tweaking for next year. I type up award certificates and empty out drawers and binders full of hard work remnants. I sense the end of a job completed and welcome next year from afar. And, something inside me wonders why the finish line bleeds so seamlessly right into the starting line all over again...surely fall will be here before we know it and all will be fresh and crisp once again. Until then, though, I'm thankful for this year and soaking in all that God has taught us.

I've been adding homeschool links here, which led me to consider documenting some incentives that work well for our family here:

JESUS ACT STICKS:
Our favorite reward system! We use what we call Jesus Act Sticks to encourage Christlike behavior as well as to ensure that each child is going on one-on-one dates with Mom and Dad regularly. It can be easy to miss out on those special dates, especially in a big family, so using this reward system allows the dates to be built right in to the flow of our family. I'm an advocate for Quantity Time, but we also see the beauty in quality time with each child. Our Jesus Act Stick system is one catalyst for memories of quality time.

Here's how it works: We have labeled glass jars for each child. We're constantly on the lookout for selfless, sacrificial, loving, Christlike behavior, so when we notice it, we point it out with positive reinforcement and give that child a Popsicle stick in their jar. Even the kids have come to notice a true Jesus Act and they're quick to yell it out. (A Jesus Act must be an out of the ordinary, laying-your-life-down-for-another action worthy of acknowledgement...going above and beyond.)

Once a child has earned 10 Jesus Act Sticks, they pick a special date with Mom or Dad and get a certificate which goes into their yearly school binder. We're intentional to take a photo for the sake of nostalgia and do our best to celebrate our individual relationships with each child. Our dates can be inexpensive or even free (and often are), but we try to make them special which is priceless. The most important part of our JAS dates is delving into conversation, holding hands, and staying connected to each other as the years FLY by.

Jesus Act Sticks cannot be lost once they are earned and they can only be earned if the good behavior was observed as stemming obviously from a genuine and sacrificial heart, never done with a motive just to earn a stick.

We love and cherish our Jesus Act Stick dates! They will probably be some of our favorite memories
when our children are grown and I hope that they will look back on them with fondness.

"Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends."

John 15:13

“So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them."

Matthew 7:12

MARBLE JARS:
This system has also been effective in our family, both for positive and negative reinforcement, though not regularly. A child can gain and lose marbles based on attitude and demeanor. Since the marble jar system can be tedious to keep up with, we typically use it for a specific duration of time with a specific reward in sight which varies depending on what we're aiming to teach, then take a break.

 

In the past, we've used the marbles to add up to points for buying fun goodies in a little store of sorts, or to earn coupons with rewards. Since we do not give set allowance to our children, we have also used the marbles before as a way to earn pennies or nickels, though this is rare. I'm sure we'll come up with more marble jar reward ideas as the kids grow older and ideas turn up. The point is to create an incentive that motivates the children for a time period and helps to set up new habits.

. . . . . .
 

We love these quality interactions in the midst of our Quantity Time as a family and we're thankful that God has given us some tools to instigate interactions that are pleasing to Him, making special memories in the process. We don't execute any of this perfectly, but even just in the writing it down, it reinspires my heart for the benefits worth pursuing through rewards.

"Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward."

Psalm 127:3

“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.”
Proverbs 22:6
 

We aren't dogmatic when it comes to incentives (or anything for that matter) and we definitely use communication and prayer above and beyond any methodology when it comes to rearing our kids. Nonetheless, we do appreciate what our Jesus Act and Marble Jar systems have brought to our family through seasons and over years, enough so that they've made the cut for the next school year.

Till then...

"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven."

Ecclesiastes 3:1

EDUCATION OF THE HEART

The school year is wrapping up. Will we finish strong? The children are acting up. How will we respond?

As I added homeschool links here, I got to thinking about some of the things

God has been teaching me over the years as a homeschooling mom.

 

In reflecting on a timeline of my life thus far, I can see various separate seasons where God has used multiple years, even decades, to accomplish His will for me through trials. It's been in and through those journeys that I have found Christ.

Was He purposeful in allowing/orchestrating those afflictions? Yes. Is He finished with me yet? No way.

And, it's not only the big, bad, sad stuff that bears the mark of God’s permission, but also sometimes the mundane. If our every experience is designed to infiltrate more of God’s image into our existence, then we ought to see even the everyday people and events we encounter as the instruments God is using to accomplish His wise and loving purpose for our hearts.

"And you show that you are a letter from Christ delivered by us, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God,

not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts."

2 Corinthians 3:3

I've learned so much about this just by homeschooling my kids. Our children play a vital role in this development, daily, and there are no mistakes with God. He knows just who He gave to us and why. With this twist in perspective fully adopted, I've even learned to thank God for the very things that might appear to be “thorns in my flesh” by viewing them as His workmanship in my life.

In particular, I've found homeschooling and parenting my children to be the very catalysts to draw me to my knees, bring accountability for integrity to the surface, shine a flood light on my inadequacies, and prove just how much I need a Savior. With each daily challenge I face with my kids, I see how God is using my responsibilities to them as His instructional tools in my own life.

How will I respond?

With my perspective aimed at seeing God’s handiwork in my character development as I seek to teach my children, it seems that I too am receiving an education [of the heart]. Ignoring this calling or avoiding the challenges of parenthood disqualifies me from a huge portion of God’s grooming process.

Here is one small example. Daily, as I seek to spend time in solitary prayer and devotion with Jesus in the morning,

inevitably my children will need me and my baby will need to be fed.

Will I choose to see these moments as interruptions, or will I receive them as God's opportunities?

As God has graciously been educating my heart, He has taught me that laying down my plans and desires for the benefit of others (in particular my children) is one way I can show my love to Him and show His love to them. He has also taught me to see the times when I physically lie down with the baby as moments of rest and prayer. He has given me His desire to do this, joyfully, not because of my natural inclinations, but because of His love for my son.

I've learned that as I feed my baby, I can pray in the silence and ultimately end up thanking God for drawing me to Himself through prayerful retreat. I’ve started to see these special moments as metaphorically and literally being still, and knowing that He is God. (Psalm 46:10) Especially in a culture which has decided that babies are inconvenient, I praise God for showing me how to discern His education for my heart by experiencing the sacrifices of parenting. I praise God for altering my perspective and helping me to find Him through the ministry of motherhood! True, it's not easy...but it's not supposed to be. We're supposed to need Him. True it is, as well, these moments are flying by and I will miss them when they're gone.

"For thus says the LORD:
'Behold, I will extend peace to her like a river,
and the glory of the nations like an overflowing stream;
and you shall nurse, you shall be carried upon her hip, and bounced upon her knees.
As one whom his mother comforts, so I will comfort you.'"

Isaiah 66:12-13

Perspective. How we view our circumstances greatly affects how we respond.

The same goes for homeschooling woes. When I'm up against a behavioral issue while doing

schoolwork with the kids, it's easy to get frustrated if my perspective isn't kept in check.

Interruption or opportunity?

 

The choice is mine to make. Will I see the disciplinary issue in the middle of my lesson as an interruption to my plans or as the very opportunity I've been waiting for that day? Will I burst out in anger or practice patience, kindness, and self-control?

 "A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."

Proverbs 15:1

And how about the other kids as they look on? Surely, their little spongy minds and hearts are absorbing my every move.

Definitely, as they learn to read and write, the education of their hearts is on the line.

How will they respond?

I'm the parent. I'm imitating God, my Father, and it's up to me to set the pace.

The way I do so has eternal implications, I'll make no mistake about it.

So, I pray to learn the Father's heart. How would He view these moments?

"Jesus said, 'Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.'”

Matthew 19:14

Am I going to get it wrong sometimes? Of course...that's what imperfect sinners do, but as I seek first

His kingdom and His righteousness (Matthew 6:33), will there be improvement? I hope so! As it is written:

"He must increase, but I must decrease.”

John 3:30

So I pour myself out and look for God's response to my children and I'm able to realize that it's a blessing to have an interaction with a child where I get to train their heart and speak truth into their young, malleable life. It's a blessing to take the time to pray with a loved one that is struggling. It's a blessing to practice the fruit of the Spirit and cry out to God as He refines me through my shortcomings. And, it's a blessing to know that God has given me the chance to be His heart of instruction to one of His dear little children.

Will I accept the challenge? Will I make the most of the opportunity?

"Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil."

Ephesians 5:15-16

Lord, as we parents raise and teach your kids, may we be on the lookout for your hand in our own lives as well. May we become more and more like you with every challenge (opportunity) that we face head on. And may we learn to thank you for loving us enough to invest in our lives through an education of the heart.

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control."

Galatians 5:22-23

ADOPTING JOY

My sister and her family are adopting Joy

and I'm hoping that we can help them bring her home by supporting their t-shirt fundraiser.

If you would like to join us, just click HERE to purchase a t-shirt that shares the message of adoption and also helps to bring Joy home! $15 of each t-shirt purchased will go directly to Joy's adoption expenses.

Just type in the code JOY when you checkout.

As the Metzgar family walks by faith, knowing that God will accomplish His will, I pray that they feel loved and supported by a community willing to rally around them as they are adopting Joy.

www.adoptjoy.blogspot.com

QUOTE OF THE DAY

"I find it hard to live by faith, and confide entirely in God, when the way is dark before me.

But if the way were plain and easy, where would be the room for confidence in God?"
-Ann Judson from My Heart in His Hands

KIDS AROUND THE WORLD

We're always looking for ways to serve the Lord together as a family and Kids Around The World is one of our favorite ministries to work with. A couple of years ago when our good friend, Paul, joined Kids Around The World, we became aware of how this ministry brings food and hope in Jesus' name to people in need around the world.

I love that the kids get to be involved in almost every aspect of this outreach and I love that a regular homeschooling day can turn into an education of the heart.

Setting up the packing tables:
 

On the assembly line:

 

 

Writing messages on the boxes:
 

 

Packing boxes full of meals:
 

 

Really getting into it :)
 

 

Praying over the boxes before they are shipped:



 

Kids Around The World builds playgrounds and distributes food as they share the gospel in desperate places. The ministry touches lives in many ways through the food packing events here in the US that open the eyes of those serving, through the short term mission trip opportunities, and most importantly through the sharing of the gospel as tangible and spiritual needs are met worldwide.

Check out www.kidsaroundtheworld.com to learn more, to schedule a packing event, or to go on a mission trip to distribute the food, build a playground, and share the Good News!

 

www.kidsaroundtheworld.com

"Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you,

as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’"

Matthew 25:37-40

HIS LITTLE FEET

 

If you ever have the chance to see His Little Feet perform, you will be abundantly blessed! The heart of God beats with the strength and depth of their worship. The humility of Christ shines brightly in the eyes of each child and team member.
We were so blown away by this exceptional group!

You can visit His Little Feet to see their tour schedule or to book the choir. Their ministry touches so many lives in a variety of ways and gives multiple opportunities to the body of Christ to bless others and also be blessed.

“How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the good news!”
Romans 10:15b

DEPENDENCE

"It does not matter whether you are predominantly a person of strengths or weaknesses on the natural level. You may be the most competent person in your field, but you can be sure that if God is going to use you, He will cause you to feel keenly your dependence on Him.

He will often blight the very thing we feel confident in, so that we will learn to depend on Him, not on ourselves."

"If God is going to use you and me,

He will bring adversity into our lives so that we, too, may learn experientially our dependence on Him."

-from Trusting God (Even When Life Hurts) by Jerry Bridges

If you have felt the sting of God's love through His grooming process, then this thought from Jerry Bridges makes perfect sense. It hurts. But, it's supposed to hurt so that we can find our Savior, so that we can learn to need Him. Thus, we rest assured that everything that comes our way has been sovereignly ordained by a good God. Like an infant, we learn trust.

"As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you." Isaiah 66:13

This is one of my favorite Bible verses and all the more since I've become a mom.

Trust. Dependence. Refuge. Comfort. LOVE...

 

...just a few of the words used to describe our parent/child relationship with our Father God. He is the best parenting role model. He encourages me with His kindness, forgiveness, and availability to me and I find myself dependent. How much farther was I from Him when I found sufficiency elsewhere?

And so I pray, "Lord, make me more like you!" knowing full well that my plea comes with a cost. How I long to become more and more like Him and yet the road is rough. This journey I signed up for isn't easy. It's hard. It requires chiseling, pruning, dependence.

"His delight is not in the strength of the horse, nor his pleasure in the legs of a man, but the Lord takes pleasure in those who fear him, in those who hope in his steadfast love."

Psalm 147:10-11