Give yourself grace. I've heard the advice countless times, yet it's easier to say than do.
These early days have been quite the adjustment, especially for our sweet Noble. My heart is overwhelmed with grief over the sin in the world, sin that took from my precious son. Will you join us in prayer for him, for us?
When I look at this beautiful boy, created fearfully and wonderfully by God, the Creator, I see His fingerprints and the potential for a story of redemption. When I look at my beautiful boy, with pain in his eyes that carry burdens far greater than I will ever carry,
I writhe. It is an intentional choice not to focus on the pain, but to focus on what God can do.
I have my 10 year old to thank today for refreshed perspective:
As I lay in bed after a long night of thinking and praying and hurting, this unknowingly wise child of mine came to my bedside around 5:00 am. We discussed our day and what he might do for school and he shared that he would be reading about another boy who made history in Jesus' name. What's this newest hero's story?" I asked him. "Well, it's kind of the same as all the others..." he replied. What does that mean? What's the common thread? I wondered as he continued, "They all begin as sad little boys with a terrible childhood, then when they grow up, God changes their lives and they do something wonderful for Him."
(Something worth writing about in a book, I might add.)
Weeping, I thanked my boy whose childlike perspective and faith reminded his mommy of the way our God often works out His best stories. He takes the broken, the hurting, the outcast and transforms lives into that which only He could produce.
He makes beauty from ashes and glorifies Himself.
Today, through the difficult journey of transition, I'm choosing, by faith, to focus on what God can do, what God will do, what He's already done, and I'm giving myself grace as best as I can, knowing that we're all adjusting...
"The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me, because the LORD has anointed me to bring
good news to the poor;
he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim
liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound; to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor, and the day of vengeance of our God;
to comfort all who mourn;
to grant to those who mourn in Zion— to give them a beautiful headdress instead
of ashes, the oil of gladness
instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead
of a faint spirit;
that they may be called oaks of righteousness, the planting
of the LORD, that he may be glorified."
Isaiah 61:1-3
