"You're so calm," to which I share my heart honestly, "If you only knew how much goes on inside." It's like the duck on the pond...steadily gliding along glassy waters seemingly with ease, yet just under the water's surface webbed feet paddle and peddle and forge on with determination and purpose, mysteriously propelled from underneath. That's totally me...duck on the pond girl.
Peace. He gives us peace. If we were peaceful on our own, we'd have no need of a Savior underneath. That's why Jesus came!
"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you.
Not as the world gives do I give to you.
Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid."
John 14:27
In pondering the fruit of the Spirit this week and focusing on peace today, I've been mulling through the oxymoron of pure peace that comes from knowing Christ which transcends our rather unpeaceful circumstances at times. In other words, I'm contending with the variability of circumstantial peace and God's peace - two completely different entities, independent one from the other. But, God's peace which surpasses our understanding trumps all.
"And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding,
will guard your hearts
and your minds in Christ Jesus."
Philippians 4:7
Everyone has a weak spot and our enemy plays the game. He'll poke where it counts and he's never ashamed to do so. Paradoxically, peace...or it's counterpart, fear, really...is my soft spot...don't let my calmness fool you (or me). That enemy, He pokes me there often and I know why.
I've noticed a common thread (that I've not been immune to according to God's ordination) in those who've experienced tragedy. Loss creates an immediate awareness of what we stand to lose, what our loved ones stand to lose and often this instigates an internal fight or flight coping mechanism called: fear. Unfortunately/fortunately (depending on how I process this thorn), this is true for me.
I was a teenager when my mom died of cancer. Her death was sudden, just two months following her diagnosis. It was devastating. I was wounded. And, scars remained on my young and already tender heart. But God had a loving plan for me.
In His wonderful, restorative grace and mercy, God has used that untimely, painful loss to shape my heart for Him, to cause me to need Him, to live these fleeting days on earth for Him and blatantly aware of the vapor that it is. God chose to catapult my adulthood journey toward Himself through origins of pain from my youth, which is really so like Him. He's used the "bad" for good. He always does and often does, and my perspective has been profoundly influenced...so has my need for peace.
Those scars on my heart I speak of, they've left painful memories that burden my peace at times. Etched memories leave a psyche with temptation to fear more pain, more loss. I must remind myself that this life is not our place of rest. We toil here these days we roam the earth as we await eternal Sabbath rest. We wait. And truly, if we can bring most glory to God through our strife, then so be it! If difficulty draws us into intimacy with the Savior, I accept it!
Until the final resting place, His peace...I seek it. I need it. I'm totally dependent upon it in my human frailty and peddling. I trust the Lord with all my heart, I do! AND, I need Him to establish peace. If ever I have peace, it's only because of the Lord. His peace is all I've got. ("All I have is Christ!") On my own I'm empty, empty, empty. I believe that's how He'd like us to be...emptied out, ready to be filled to the brim and overflowing with His Spirit, blindingly aware that HE is all we have! I believe that's why He granted me my thorn gift to bear.
Peace. He gives me peace. It's only from Him and He offers it. In my flesh I fail often, but in His peace I find rest. In my home I face challenges hourly, but in His peace my home rests. In my circumstances I encounter trials, but in Christ alone I place my trust and I find rest called perfect peace that only He can give! I find it.
So, I pour myself out (again and again) and I encourage my family to do the same so that together and by the grace of God, we might abide in a home filled to overflowing with LOVE, JOY, PEACE, PATIENCE, KINDNESS, GOODNESS, FAITHFULNESS, GENTLENESS, AND SELF-CONTROL. (Galatians 5:22-23)
"The fruit of the Spirit is...peace."
Galatians 5:22
"You keep him in perfect peace
whose mind is stayed on you,
because he trusts in you.
Trust in the Lord forever,
for the Lord God is an everlasting rock."
whose mind is stayed on you,
because he trusts in you.
Trust in the Lord forever,
for the Lord God is an everlasting rock."
Isaiah 26:3-4
Visiting my children's CD again today, I'm choosing peace and gaining courage to find it through encouraging music like this:
