12

 

Here he goes, my big 12 year old...on the cusp of growing taller than me.

Here he goes.

My heart sings mother's prayers lifted high to heaven's ears,

knowing God loves him even more than we.

And here he goes...setting on toward manhood. How can it be?

My little boy just yesterday. 

I'm so proud of my big boy now and his heart for Jesus as he grows.

And here he goes.

Hand in hand with us for now, we'll guide as best we can. 

A heart like his, I know the Lord will use him, spend him for His glory.

So that's the prayer and here he goes...

Happy Birthday Brodie!
We love you so very much!!!

 

"But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have firmly believed,

knowing from whom you learned it and how from childhood you have been acquainted with

the sacred writings, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus."

2 Timothy 3:14-15

THE TUFF STUFF

I'm definitely a glass half full type of person.

 

My natural bend is to focus on the bright side of things and I'm always sure there's a silver lining,

not to mention God's perfect will which usually includes discomfort as the prelude to growth. I get it.

 

That said, there are also times when the tuff stuff feels like it's creepy crawling all over me

or pecking me square in the forehead. I'm confident that this is normal...but I don't love it.

 

So when she rejects me then smothers then stonewalls then randomly loves normally, I do my best

to roll with the punches and realize there is a place for the tuff stuff in life and especially adoption.

 

God will use it all for good.

 

When he cries for the thingy over there then I give it to him then he rejects it then asks for it again

then finally takes what he wanted from the start most likely testing me to see if I'll give and I'm all,

"Why didn't you just take it in the first place?!" I have to remember (again) that there is in fact

a place for the tuff stuff in life and adoption and God is always good!

 

The pangs of sin wreck scars for him so though we fill and fill, the insatiable hunger haunts

in more ways than one and we accept that only Jesus will finally truly occupy the voids. He will.

 

As for the tuff stuff yet to come, the medical and emotional and stretching and pecking,

I wait for it expectantly, realizing that God is working all the while and I'm to love.

 

So glass half full most of the time, yes, the reality is adoption is not all roses all the time. But God IS always good ALL the time and He uses everything to refine us and mold us and make us more like Himself...even through (especially through?) the tuff stuff. So I'm in.

"And let us not grow weary of doing good,
for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up."
Galatians 6:9

 

"His banner over me is love."

Song of Solomon 2:4

GUESS WHO'S ON HIS WAY HOME!

 

We have much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving week!

 

Welcome home, Beck!!

 

"Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever!"

Psalm 107:1

UPDATE ON BECK

We spent the day yesterday visiting Beck in the ICU.

 

 

It was sweet to sit and just be with my little guy. It was also good for Brodie to

get out in the sun a bit and hang with the other kids while I took the day shift with Beck.

(Our tired little tiger)

 

He was so excited when he woke up to discover his siblings had come to visit!

 

 

He called for each one by name and of course gave out lots of smiley hugs and kisses.

 

 

The good news is now that he's been seen, we will start meeting with the cardiologists to get both Bea and Beck the surgeries they need...starting early next week. This is what we signed up for when we adopted these precious children with critical health issues.

The reality has hit home and it's absolutely our privilege to give them the love and medical help they need, one step at a time.

 

Our hope and prayer for Beck today is that he makes a turn for the better and may even come home. Our house isn't the same without our happy little guy. He brings such fun and laughter to our family and even under the circumstances he maintains his Beck-like JOY!

 

 

 

WE LOVE YOU, BECK!!!

 

"Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer."

Romans 12:12

BECK IN ICU

It was just a cold...the same one our other little ones have and are working through normally.

But for our Beck, his frail heart and lack of oxygen just can't handle "just a cold".

 

 

And so, to the ER they went two nights ago, Daddy and Aida, with little Beck wheezing dangerously. Not knowing his heart condition and history, we chose to play it safe, and it's a good thing we did as his regular cold was developing into pneumonia.

 

 

They transferred him to the children's hospital ICU where he's been since. Though he's ill, he's still in

good spirits, blowing kisses to the nurses every chance he gets, charming them with his Beck smiles.

 

(Never mind the bump on his forehead...just a memory from our last trip at the library.)

 

His body currently doesn't handle these things well, not like a healthy child would. But now after extensive testing we have more answers, a short term plan, and a long term plan to help get Beck the medical attention he needs to live a healthy life.

 

 

With his loving big sister by his side,

 

 

and Daddy holding him, caring for him, reassuring him continually,

 

 

it's hard to imagine Beck's last heart surgery...alone in China.

 

But he's not alone anymore. He has us. We've got him. Our great God has tiny Beck in the

palm of His Hand and we're praying for complete healing and restoration for our son.

(Look who woke up happy today! We can't wait to have you home soon, Beck!)

 

"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."

Psalm 147:3

TEN

 

Ten.

 

We used to (half) joke there would be ten...and now that there are, it feels just right.

 

Ten.

 

It may seem like a lot, but when we consider each individual we can't imagine life without any one!

 

Ten.

 

It's a good number. Round. (Though we never have stayed round for long.)

 

Ten.

 

Ten lunch plates all lined up in a row. Ten rows of laundry folded fresh, covered in prayer. At least ten hugs per day!

Ten best friends. Ten life partners. Ten chisels sharpening my heart. Ten cherished gifts from God.

 

Ten...and baby makes eleven. (So much for round.)

 .

And there is joy!

 

"Children are a gift from the LORD; they are a reward from him.

How joyful is the man whose quiver is full of them!"
Psalm 127:3,5



BONDING WITH BECK

The first few days were strictly Daddy only! Beck loves his baba.

 

 

But we're making progress, he and I. The bonding has begun. He holds on tight and snuggles in. He kisses loooooong (like 20 second smooches) and flashes heart-melting grins. He cuddles close all curled up small and smushes into my neck, just like my infants did.

 

Mothering Beck is very much like mothering a newborn baby. We're going back to the beginning. He gets the right to a re-do.

He gets to learn his mama. Attachment is clearly his highest need, so I 'm teaching him day by day to know me more and trust,

to come to me for comfort, to believe that I'll be there for him. He's learning that I'm safe and it'll take some time...which we have.

 

With Bea this bonding was immediate. She was so hungry for her mommy. She got me. She has me. She doesn't let me go far. 

The bonding for us was as instantaneous as Beck's was with his daddy and I've waited patiently for him to let me in.

 

It was a victory, Daddy's first day back at work, as Beck looked to me for everything.

He didn't cry for his baba once (a huge surprise and praise)!

 

And we made it! Day one under belt. We bonded all the more. We made strides in the right direction, Beck and I. I'm his mommy.

He's my son. He's soaked his way well into my heart already and I love him with deep, indescribable, supernatural, maternal love.

 

"As one whom his mother comforts, so I will comfort you."

Isaiah 66:13

DINNER WITH A SHOW

"Mommy, Mommy, you have to come! Hurry!"

(Words familiar to my ears, so I grab my phone knowingly.)

 

 

My caramelizing onions just might have overcooked,

but there was another meal in the making worth discovery.

 

 

As Bea sips her tea I wonder, What must she be thinking of all this new?

 

 

I'm guessing she thinks her sisters are pretty fun...

 

 

...her fancy dinner with a show too.

 

"Sing to him a new song; play skillfully, and shout for joy."
Psalm 33:3

BEA'S RAINBOWS

It's sort of a right of passage around here. When you're big enough to put your Rainbows away when

we get home from an outing, you take a special trip to the Rainbow Sandals shop and get your first pair.

Yesterday was Bea's turn as we took a spontaneous detour on our way to the beach.

 

(At first she was unsure and held on tight to Mommy.)

 

When I was a little girl, I remember going to Buster Brown's with my mom to get new shoes.

Now, here I am the mom ('cause I blinked) and my kids will remember getting their Rainbows.

 

 

After Bea realized what we were up to, she had lots of fun looking for just the right pair. We went with skinny straps

for her dainty feet and since she's still learning to walk in flip flops in general, straps for her heels were mandatory.

 

We like to keep life simple...even in the small things like shoes. We have one pair of nice Rainbows and we put them away in their slot. The kids learn responsibility this way and I don't have to go stir crazy with thousands of run amok shoes. As the good pair gets old and needs replacing (which takes a really long time with Rainbows) or they're outgrown, they pass down to the next younger sibling and become their play pair. It's really hard to destroy a pair of leather Rainbow Sandals!

 

(Found this on my phone recently...Aida??)

 

If we're over at someone's house, it's likely there will be a line up of Rainbows by the front door.

We want to be respectful about how many of us (and therefore shoes) there are when we're around,

so we try to be orderly and not overbearing with even the way we stack our shoes.

 

We store our water bottles the same way with our Rainbows in a closet by the front door. 

Everyone is responsible to make sure their special things have made it in from the car when we arrive home.

 

It works.

 

 

It's an odd but necessary combination we keep of order, yet freedom.

Structure, yet whimsy. Organization, yet relaxed. 

It's a balancing act, a dance, but always, always...simple.

 

I love the rhythm of a large family! I love learning how to make it work as we grow.

I loved our impromptu outing yesterday, making our little girl feel special...getting Bea's Rainbows.

 

 

"I have set my rainbow in the clouds,

and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth."

Genesis 9:13

FIRST DAYS AT THE BEACH

 

We remember well Noble and India's first trip to the beach.

The sand was too much, the sun too bright, the waves too loud.

 

But the beach is our place.

And we knew they would learn...and they did.

 

So when we took Bea and Beck for the first time to the same cove, we set low expectations. (It's always a plus to start low.)
Though the sand was unusual, to our surprise the kids enjoyed their first beach trip!

 

 

At first they preferred to sit on the quilt with Mommy and scoop sand from afar...but then...

 

 

 

They dove in and got dirty, something this guy has mastered!

 

 

(Daddy the expert digger and his trusty companions)

 

 

 

So many sweet memories already in the making.

(Beck likes to eat sand.)

 

 

So much trust being learned, day by day.

 

 

 

 

 

They'll be surfing before they know it.

 

 

And we'll look back with fondness on their first days at the beach.

 

"Sing to the Lord a new song, his praise from the end of the earth,
you who go down to the sea, and all that fills it, the coastlands and their inhabitants.
Let them give glory to the Lord, and declare his praise in the coastlands."
Isaiah 42:10-12