The first few days were strictly Daddy only! Beck loves his baba.
But we're making progress, he and I. The bonding has begun. He holds on tight and snuggles in. He kisses loooooong (like 20 second smooches) and flashes heart-melting grins. He cuddles close all curled up small and smushes into my neck, just like my infants did.
Mothering Beck is very much like mothering a newborn baby. We're going back to the beginning. He gets the right to a re-do.
He gets to learn his mama. Attachment is clearly his highest need, so I 'm teaching him day by day to know me more and trust,
to come to me for comfort, to believe that I'll be there for him. He's learning that I'm safe and it'll take some time...which we have.
With Bea this bonding was immediate. She was so hungry for her mommy. She got me. She has me. She doesn't let me go far.
The bonding for us was as instantaneous as Beck's was with his daddy and I've waited patiently for him to let me in.
It was a victory, Daddy's first day back at work, as Beck looked to me for everything.
He didn't cry for his baba once (a huge surprise and praise)!
And we made it! Day one under belt. We bonded all the more. We made strides in the right direction, Beck and I. I'm his mommy.
He's my son. He's soaked his way well into my heart already and I love him with deep, indescribable, supernatural, maternal love.
"As one whom his mother comforts, so I will comfort you."
Isaiah 66:13
