WHEN I GRIEVE

"He was despised and rejected by men; a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief."

Isaiah 53:3

 

Isaiah 53 speaks of Jesus. The King. He was a man of sorrows. He knew grief.

And so it seems, often the Christian life follows suit as we meld deeper and deeper into Him.

  

"Whom have I in heaven but you?
    And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
    but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."

Psalm 73:25-26

 

There is a look in the eyes of those who've saturated for seasons in sorrows, a depth in their souls that feels nearly tangible, but not.

It's more a sense than solid and it quickly unites others who've known the same. It beckons we comfort one another,

show empathy for one another, support one another with the comfort we've known ourselves.

 

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort,

who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction,

with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God."

2 Corinthians 1:3-4

 

I remember being a teenager, among peers who knew none of the sorrow I'd lived. Having lost my mom in a very short

and shocking battle with cancer changed me fast and I found it hard to relate to the frolicking of my collegiate cohorts.

 

I remember being a young wife and mother, eager to do my job well, hungry for mentorship that never quite found it's way to me. The sting of friends' weddings and baby showers garnished with doting mothers and grandmothers, comments made in innocence like, "I just can't imagine what I would do without my mom!"...I remember the pangs of such words and experiences, simply normal life for others. But they weren't normal for me. On the contrary, they were my losses and hurts. I often wept alone.

 

I remember my beloved father through his fight to outrun cancer too. Though in God's sovereignty he didn't end up doing that, what he did do is live and love well while he could. He was kind and gentle, a godly, servant leader and oh, how I'd cherish just one more talk with him today in my sorrow as grievous past losses tempt my flesh to fail, old wounds peeled back raw, exposing loss again.

 

Yet, I remind myself in these moments, that it's my heavenly Father I really need. And after all,

HE is who my earthly father would have directed me to if that conversation could be mine.

Both tell me to call upon the Lord where comfort can always be found.

 

"Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you."
Jeremiah 29:12

 

So, I redirect my homesick heart today to the One who never fails. I call upon Him in my weaknesses in the face of more gaping goodbyes. And I accept that to be acquainted with grief is to know the Lord intimately and need Him fresh again. I don't want to wish such blessing away, not for myself or my family. Instead I lean into His peace and ask humbly for His comfort which is real. I look

to my Abba Father, Best Friend, the only One who will never ever leave or forsake me. He is always near...especially when I grieve.

 

"The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit."

Psalm 34:18