BY GOD'S GRACE, MAY OUR FAMILY TREE BEAR GOOD FRUIT AS WE GROW TO KNOW & LOVE HIM MORE EACH DAY.

9.20.2016

SURGERY #3 UPDATE #2 - BEA


I wrote about the curve ball we didn't expect last week following Bea's investigative surgery...the prospect of not having her next open heart surgery (Fontan)...the finishing surgery we have anticipated for nearly 2 years now. We didn't see that coming! But, after our visit with her cardiologist on Monday, the blurring has faded to something resembling clarity and God's peace has settled upon our hearts.


It was a treat for Bea to have both Mommy and Daddy at the doctor with her for her appointment. She told us repeatedly how much it meant to her and in typical-me-style, I barely made it through the vitals without crying. Bea is just such a precious little girl and in all honesty my heart breaks for her when I look at her and think of how very much I want to make all of her owies go away. There is something about Bea that conjures up immense compassion in my heart and everything in me wants to protect her...especially in these circumstances. She's such a vibrant child. It's easy to not dwell upon her frailty on a daily basis because she's always so...alive! I thank God that He is Bea's advocate and that He loves her way more than I ever could! He has a plan for Bea and we believe that it is good...even if it includes hard (which indeed it already has). But we know that in every trial she's endured, He will use it for her good and His glory. We're discovering His plans for her future one step at a time right now.

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD,
plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope."
Jeremiah 29:11

(such a good little patient)

Bea has Dextrocardia (among other diagnoses), meaning that her heart is on the right side of her body and also it is all in a mirror image to a typical, normal heart. She also only has a single ventricle, the weaker of the two as fate would have it, meaning in layman's terms she is living with half of a heart...which can only do the job of a whole heart for so long. We pray for miracles and healing and for the Lord to allow Bea's little half-heart to pump strong as long as He'll allow. And then, at some point, she will most likely need a transplant. We're told this could be anywhere from 15-20 years from now based on her current condition.

The exploratory surgery last Monday revealed a few surprises for us. Most notably, her first open heart surgery accomplished quite a bit more than we could have anticipated! We praise God for this great news! The surgeon had installed a PA band to help with her pressures and as a result, amazingly, she is so close to the peak functioning possibility for her circumstances that they have determined the Fontan surgery she would have been due for would be too high risk for not enough gain. Her complex anatomy and an extra, unusual vein in particular create abnormal complications including liver failure among other possible concerns. Her doctor kept saying how "lucky" she is and also how "lucky" she was to have survived in China until her first surgery here with us in the US. (Of course, we know Who is in control of the details!) Bea's progress is good news! The bad news is, her heart is under stress as a result of her still-low oxygen levels and single ventricle, which in turn causes stress for her other vital organs and over time this will take a toll.

After talking to the cardiologist about all of this extensively, we agree at this point that the benefit of the Fontan surgery does not seem to outweigh the risks for Bea, especially in light of her complicated anatomy and the extra challenges that creates. At this point, we are settled not to proceed. We will be watching her over the course of the years for any changes, but her cardiologist feels that she's looking great considering her obstacles and we agree. We respect the opinion of the team of 17 local cardiologists + 2 surgeons who have made this decision for Bea, and yet we have also agreed to contact the surgical team who performed Beck's surgery up at Stanford for a thorough second opinion. We await their response within the coming months so we will see what happens there...

In the meantime, we rest in knowing that there are no surprises for God! We have sure peace that He has planned Bea's life with purpose and that He will accomplish His intentions for her. We believe that life does not have to be long to be valuable eternally and yet we hope for long life for our daughter. We will do everything we can to ensure Bea has the highest quality of life she can possibly have for as long as the Lord grants her time with us and we thank Him for graciously allowing us to gain even further eternal perspective through these circumstances we're faced with. We know that as technology increases, the odds of new procedures and medications to help Bea get better all the time. Who knows what they will be able to accomplish in 15-20 years!? For now, we keep loving Jesus and loving Bea and putting one foot in front of the next, knowing that in ALL things, God is good! We thank Him deeply for bringing Bea to our family and we love her so very much! It's a privilege to fight for her and at the same time to rest in Him with her and to teach her that she too can trust her Father God. We look forward to the future He has in store for Bea and we just know that He will use her life in mighty ways to glorify Himself! He already has.

"Be still, and know that I am God."
Psalm 46:10

9.19.2016

CHAPTERS

"We all live in chapters of our lives..."
-John Piper

9.18.2016

WELCOME TO THE FAMILY, PRESLEY LAN!


Oh, the JOY...and there's one less orphan in the world today!


Praise the Lord for what He's done!!


"God setteth the solitary in families."
Psalm 68:6

9.17.2016

CURVE BALL

You'd think there would be comfort in hearing that our daughter would not be having another open heart surgery.

But, in this case...that isn't so and we really didn't see this coming.


And diagrams and angiograms, echocardiograms and ultrasonograms...it all fades to a blur as the news sets in.

When the surgical team met to evaluate the results of Bea's exploratory surgery last Monday, they determined that her complex anatomy makes the next stage of her needed heart correction, from their perspective, too risky. And at this point, they are not willing to take that risk. This means that Bea is left with her heart as it is...a thought which isn't settling.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding."
Proverbs 3:5

The mama bear in me wants to fight. The mommy in me wants to cry. The protector in me will pursue that second or third opinion our cardiologist has offered...even if that means my daughter has to fly to another state to receive her surgery. We will do whatever it takes to help our girl! And the mother's love for her daughter wells up to spilling over when I look into my little girl's eyes right now.

I just love her so much!

I want what's best for Bea. I trust the Lord has a plan and that He's known it all along. I realize this curve ball is one sided and that God is not surprised. He knows. He's always known the days He planned for Bea and His ways are always good.

"Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them,
    the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them."
Psalm 139:16


So we go back Monday for all the information, to fill in the blanks and ask questions. We will pursue every avenue we can to fight for our daughter and we won't give up easily until no is no. We trust God for wisdom in all these things. We trust He will fight for Bea.

"The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still."
Exodus 14:14

We don't know what the future holds, but we do know that when we opened our hearts to welcome Bea in, we stepped out in faith knowing that the God who loves us all had orchestrated our union. He will lead us and we will take just one step at a time. He knows our tomorrows and has planned them for our good and His glory. May He be glorified as Bea's story unfolds. In Him, we have hope.

"And now, O Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in you."
Psalm 39:7

To be continued...

"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good."
Romans 8:28

9.15.2016

FIRST DOZEN


It seems that we have 3 consistent laying hens now...and I'm imagining when there are 17!

"But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you."
Matthew 6:33

9.14.2016

HAPPY 10TH BIRTHDAY OLIA


10 years ago today, the Lord blessed my life with the most lovely gift...Olia. At a time when I thought we wouldn't have any more children, God knew far better and had a much wiser plan. He accentuated His creativity by blessing us with a child of rare beauty.
She is kind and gentle, humble yet talented, always positive, and the sweetest person we all know.


Olia is a precious reminder to me that God is worthy of our trust. He gives bountifully and beautifully
when we submit to Him in all things. I praise Him for this beloved treasure He's given me in Olia.

(I remember walking around the property together when we took this photo...)

Olia, there has never been a day that you haven't been a pure blessing to share life with.
Truly, you're a very special person, a picture of femininity in it's sweetest form.


I love how you express yourself in dance, with effortless elegance and grace as such that only God can give. You harmonize intuitively, always enhancing our joyful noise to the Lord through song. You've always loved flowers and surely God knew when He inspired us to name you Olia Lily. You're learning so much about serving our family in the home lately and you're growing up before my eyes. You tenderly care for the baby and are a wonderful friend to your siblings. There is nothing we don't all adore about you, Olia. You just make life so much better when you're around. I'm beyond blessed to call you daughter, to call you friend.

Happy 10th Birthday to our lovely Olia!

"Let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty
of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious."
1 Peter 3:4

9.13.2016

SURGERY #3 UPDATE - BEA


September 12, 2016

8:30AM

The day began with Aida by her little sister's side.


When this photo came through I realized that I was down by not one but TWO mama hens in my home for the day. Bea may be small, but she is quite full in spirit and extremely nurturing to the little ones. She is also very helpful around the house and a good friend. She's a servant, our Bea, and her presence in the home (along with Aida's) is significant. Everyone misses the girls and things feel...quiet.

Brodie, Elka, and Olia have gone over the top to serve the family so far today, the little ones as well, and it amazes me how they are all very much the body of my brothers and sisters in Christ right here in our home. I'm feeling prayerful, peaceful, and blessed.

10:00AM

Brodie's piano plays alluring melodies that echo through the walls of home and heart
and prayers are offered on the hour for our girl. One step closer to wholeness for Bea.

(Happy Bea)

O Lord, you have searched me and known me!
You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
    you discern my thoughts from afar.
You search out my path and my lying down
    and are acquainted with all my ways.
Even before a word is on my tongue,
    behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.
You hem me in, behind and before,
    and lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
    it is high; I cannot attain it.
Where shall I go from your Spirit?
    Or where shall I flee from your presence?
If I ascend to heaven, you are there!
    If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!
If I take the wings of the morning
    and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
10 even there your hand shall lead me,
    and your right hand shall hold me.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me,
    and the light about me be night,”
12 even the darkness is not dark to you;
    the night is bright as the day,
    for darkness is as light with you.
13 For you formed my inward parts;
    you knitted me together in my mother's womb.
14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
    my soul knows it very well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
    intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
    the days that were formed for me,
    when as yet there was none of them.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
    How vast is the sum of them!
18 If I would count them, they are more than the sand.
    I awake, and I am still with you.
Psalm 139:1-18

Apparently we weren't the only ones listening to Brodie's music this morning...just got these:

Watching videos on Daddy's phone of Brodie playing the song he wrote for her:



She said it helped her to "not feel the pinch".
Brodie's music has a way of breaking and comforting hearts at the same time.

Thank you, Lord, for being near to our Bea.

11:00AM
Here we go...the procedure should take about 3 hours we're told.

3:00PM
Finally...news...she's done and in recovery. Thank you, Lord!

Things took longer than expected because of Bea's complexities. But they were able to acquire all that they needed and apparently they want to proceed with her next open heart surgery even sooner than we anticipated...as in by the end of this month!

As that sinks in...we continue to pray through this day as Bea recovers. She needs to lay flat for 6-8 hours and remain stable.
If she does, then she gets to come home late tonight!! We are all hoping for that!

8:00PM
Although she's been emotional, Bea's numbers have remained stable for the required amount of time. Poor sweetie just wanted to come home and I don't blame her one bit. I remember this part of the hospital stays all too well. It's like we all just want to push the fast forward button. Yet, thankfully the time has come and so we praise the Lord...they're coming home!!


"Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer."
Romans 12:12

9.12.2016

SURGERY #3 - BEA


5:30AM

And they're off...

We will be praying every hour on the hour today as we trust the Lord for the events of the day. Aida ended up going with Bea and Daddy to the hospital. I know this means a lot to Bea and it will also be a support for Brodie. As our older children get to take part in these important life moments, their hearts increase in compassion and they get to partake in the growth that God produces in our lives through trials. I'm thankful for the opportunity for Aida to be with them today.

"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."
James 1:2-4

Elka and Brodie (and Willow of course) were up with us at 5 as well...each of them wanting to care for Bea and walk her out in the dark. When sweet, sensitive Noble awoke, he was fighting tears because he "missed Bea and wanted her to be here." Oh, my heart! It feels like a rehearsal today for the next big surgery coming up sooner than I'd like to dwell upon, and many emotions from the past goodbyes come rushing back in full swing. Yet, with each surgery we take on, with each correction Bea and Beck's little hearts receive, the closer they get to healing and that's really exciting to be a part of! Ultimately, it's the healing of their spiritual hearts that matters most and so we invest, aware of the stakes at hand. Truly, it's missional, the way we think upon these precious little ones.

Lord, as we set about today, we thank you that we can trust in you for all things. May your Spirit guide the hands and minds of the doctors and nurses. May Bea rest in her father's care for her and her heavenly Father's care for her. May we all be constant in prayer and peace as we set our minds on you, because we trust in you. Thank you for being a loving Father God.

"You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.
Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord God is an everlasting rock."
Isaiah 26:3-4

9.10.2016

PREPARING FOR SURGERY #3 - BEA

It's that time again...a time to be stretched, a time to increase faith in our sovereign God,
a time to release, let go, and love a little harder as we anticipate another round of heart surgeries.

{these 2}

On Monday, Bea will undergo another minor exploratory surgery to evaluate her progress since her last major open heart surgery (Glenn) in March of 2015, and also to assess the plan for her next major open heart surgery (Fontan) this fall/winter. Although this is intended to be a one day event and though invasive, it is minor...the last time Bea had this intervention we almost lost her. Her little heart didn't handle it well, so we do not take this surgery lightly. We will be fervent in prayer and intently focused on Christ.

Eyes on Him. Don't look down.

"You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.
Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord God is an everlasting rock."
Isaiah 26:3-4

These are the words that keep me calm when sands might otherwise shift. These are the words that keep my feet planted firmly on the Rock, a sure foundation we can trust when things might otherwise get wobbly. Lord, please hold us near. Please hold Bea near.
Please grow all of our dependence upon you through this time of trusting in your goodness in all things.

"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good,
for those who are called according to his purpose."
Romans 8:28

Monday is another big day. It is a part of the plan for Bea's life that we would be able to intervene in this way, by God's grace. We thank Him for insurance and the opportunity to be stretched. We thank Him for knowing the outcome of all things and for His wisdom. We are always asking God to give us opportunities to serve Him, to give outwardly even a fraction of what He has poured out for us.

So, here we go...mission trip for the one underway.

Jesus cares for the one.

"[Jesus] told them this parable: 'What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he has lost one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the open country, and go after the one that is lost, until he finds it? And when he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders, rejoicing. And when he comes home, he calls together his friends and his neighbors, saying to them, ‘Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep that was lost.’ Just so, I tell you, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance.'"
Luke 15:3-7

Yes, Jesus cares for the one.

Even as I type, I realize the opportunities today in my home to share the gospel with my children, to invest in their lives and their souls. I think of them each as individuals...each of them one...each of them in need of a Savior, their Shepherd. I think of how very much I long to lay my life down to serve Christ and out of my devotion to Him, to serve those in need and it hits me...there are (international even) opportunities right here in my day, right now. I can invest in the one. I can reach out to those in need in an ongoing way. It's easy to miss it sometimes, when the giving is so interwoven amidst the natural fibers of motherhood. But nevertheless, there it is.

So I offer me. I offer our family and our comforts. I offer my husband and my daughter and I pour out trust in the God who is trustworthy in all things saying, "Here I am, Lord. Send me. Spend me. Use me."

(Happy girl...Lord, please be with our Bea.)

"And I heard the voice of the Lord saying, 'Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?'
Then I said, 'Here I am! Send me.'"
Isaiah 6:8

9.03.2016

EGGS!


He came running in from the coop with 1...then 2...EGGS!

"And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus."
Philippians 4:19

9.01.2016

JOLTED


This week as we have asked the Lord to nudge us, as we opened the windows (just a crack),
He swooped in with words from the Word as He is always faithful to do. And, we've been jolted.

"Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age."
Matthew 28:19-20





We get it...jolted.

"But we will devote ourselves to prayer and to the ministry of the word."
Acts 6:4


Jolted.


We're back to praying around the globe.


Renewed focus upward and outward...Lord, we will follow you!


"For 'everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.' How then will they call on him in whom they have not believed?
And how are they to believe in him of whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching?
And how are they to preach unless they are sent? As it is written, 'How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the good news!'"
Romans 10:13-15