This time was bound to come. As we discussed praying for Bea around the lunch table as her open heart surgery date approaches, our sensitive girl began to cry for the first time when it comes to hospitals, etc. She's always nearly enjoyed the whole thing, but this time it is different. She's older (and wiser) now compared to the last time she went through all of this and it's hitting home in a new way.
As tears welled up she was able to identify her feelings, so brave for such a young age. She doesn't want to leave home and family and security she's come to know and cherish...a good sign really that she is attached. She is attached! Praise the Lord, our daughter is firmly attached to Mommy and Daddy and her comfortable sense of home. This in itself is a triumph, though it complicates the matter. Sweet Bea doesn't want to leave her home (her home!) and I don't blame her one bit. I felt the same way as a child, still do if I'm honest.
As we hugged and cried and talked it all through, the reality burned my heart just the same...I don't want her to leave home for this surgery either! I don't like it one bit! But this is good and it is God's redemptive plan for our daughter, His daughter, and He has called us all to this uncomfortable place of saying goodbye for a very important and lifesaving surgery. Yes, we must be brave.
Bea will be safe in her fathers/Father's arms. There's no better place to be.
Goodbye.
I think it's my least favorite word. There's just so much pain behind that word for me and I really don't like goodbyes. But for Bea and her heart and for the plan that God has ordained, we will soon say goodbye...again. And Jesus will carry us all.
He will.
Lord, please comfort Bea as her more mature heart now understands what's coming. Please protect her innocence and shelter her from what she need not know. Give us wisdom as we navigate these deep waters. We trust you, Lord. We know you've got this.
"The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit."
Psalm 34:18
