4...
It doesn't seem so great a number.
But 4 pregnancies interrupted, 4
miscarriages in a row, 4
(actually 4,5,6) beloved children we didn't get to hold in our arms, 4 heartbreaking losses, 4 devastating goodbyes, 4 physically depleting and emotionally traumatic events in just over 1 year...is a lot.
It's been a lot.
Having lived the simple naivety of 7 healthy pregnancies and live births consecutively without a single loss in 17 years was like a blessing and a set up all at once. How well aware I am now of what I stood to lose during a season of 1 precious gain after the next, including our 4 through adoption. Indeed, the Lord has been good to us. And so He is still.
He is good to us.
In the losses, miscarriages, goodbyes, and traumatic events of this past year+, the Lord has been more than good to us.
He's walked the weary, weepy road by my side. He's held my trembling hand in the valley. He's comforted this grieving mother's heart again and again and again and again. He's been faithful when I've failed and He's been steadfast strong in my repeated weakness. He always is. I always am. These are good reasons to be thankful for a tender Father such as He.
Jesus...the Good Shepherd...He's been with me in the waiting before, and He is with me here again as I process yet another heartache, loss, miscarriage, goodbye and I'm reminded that this is really more of a see-you-soon for this mother who knows that she will meet her unborn children one day in Paradise eternal and could they possibly be in better hands until then?
Heaven awaits...
"He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more,
neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away."
Revelation 21:4
