Feelings of going nowhere despite our exhaustive efforts (aka feelings of failure and defeat), they lurk around many a corner, waiting to discourage, planting seeds of doubt. Today was just one of those days. You know the kind. There are moments in life when you get the wind knocked out of your sails and today that's just how I felt.
It's not that these feelings aren't normal or as if I'm the only one who's ever been discouraged along the rocky road of child rearing. I get that. And, the whole entire day today wasn't even that bad. Some parts were actually really sweet and very good! I love my kids intensely and I'm an advocate for them on a daily basis. However, there are days when it can be burdensome to feel the ebb and flow of the one-step-forward-two-steps-back on the treadmill of training hearts.
It's important that discouraged parents (that would be me today) remember the questions to ask ourselves are not IF our children will sin, IF we will sin, IF our children will have weaknesses, IF we will have weaknesses...but rather, what will we do with our sins and weaknesses? How will we deal with our sins and weaknesses? Who can help us with our sins and weaknesses? How can we overcome patterns of sins and weaknesses? Where is there hope to be found?
"Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God.
Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts t
hrough the Holy Spirit who has been given to us."
Romans 5:1-5
"Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer."
Romans 12:12
"And now, O Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in you."
Psalm 39:7
"Hope in the LORD! For with the LORD there is steadfast love, and with him is plentiful redemption."
Psalm 130:7
"[Jesus] is the propitiation for
our sins, and not for ours only but also for the sins of the whole world."
1 John 2:2
I'm an optimist type. My glass is half full, people deserve the benefit of the doubt, and with a rearranged perspective there is bound to be a sunny side of the street in pretty much every scenario as far as I'm concerned. (Oddly enough, even as I write about these things, the grey clouds show promise to dissipate. It's a wonder what a little venting {and praying} can do.)
Nonetheless, these temptations to feel like a parental failure creep in like a thief, cunningly coercing me to assume I'm not cut out for the tasks before me. The enemy, he loves to devour, discourage, destroy. If I have a few great days or weeks in a row, I can be sure these feelings will come again, so I'm intent upon being prepared. That's why I'm so thankful to have promises from God I can cling to, even when I'm tempted to cower. His Word is living and active, renewing for a weary soul, full of hope and trustworthy.
"God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble."
Psalm 46:1
"Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint."
Isaiah 40:30-31
“'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me."
2 Corinthians 12:9
"And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”
Matthew 28:20
"As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good."
Genesis 50:20
"Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
Isaiah 41:10
"So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal."
2 Corinthians 4:16-18
"And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up." Galatians 6:9
(Parents need to claim this one on repeat!)
As I soak in these promises, I'm reminded that the difficulties of this life are fleeting, but my response to them is eternal. The deficits of my flesh are temporal, but God's grace through them is purposeful as they help me cling to Him who is able when I'm not. My weaknesses and inadequacies are many, but my hope is not in myself. It's in a good God who loves me enough to orchestrate my struggles; a loving God who draws me to Himself when I come to the end of myself; a wise God who loves my children more than I do and intends their deficits (just like mine) for good. Therefore, I take my thoughts captive, refocus on the truth, and pray that I might point my kids to Christ through the saving message of the gospel!
All men have sinned and fall short, but the
death of Christ on the cross payed for those sins. The resurrection of Christ
provides life everlasting for those who follow Him and the offer of the free
gift of salvation is available to all who call upon the name of the Lord.
I ask God to help me to be reminded of these foundational core truths every time I'm tempted to succumb to the temptations of these kinds of days. I ask Him to equip me to share this Good News with my children who need Him just the same. And, I'm thankful for God's grace to move on and rejoice and repent and reunite and restore and reprove and remember how much we are loved...even when we feel like we've failed. God will never fail us. Love never fails and the reality is that we can't thwart God's plans for our children in spite of our imperfections because God uses ALL things (including the inevitable inadequacies of our parenting) for good.
"For my father and mother have forsaken me, but the Lord will take me in."
Psalm 27:10
"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good,
for those who are called according to his purpose."
Romans 8:28
"See that no one repays anyone evil for evil, but always seek to do good to one another and to everyone. Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."
1 Thessalonians 5:15-18
God's Word is pure oxygen to the parent gasping for air. So, in everything (which by definition includes my feelings of failure today), I'm going to choose to give thanks. I pray that we fellow striving parents can build one another up, especially in our shortcomings, in our children's shortcomings too. I pray that we can all be honest with each other when days like today come around (and they will) so that none of us ever feel isolated or alone in our walk. I pray for perseverance as we run the race before us, resisting the schemes of our foe. And, I long for eternity all the more
as God graciously trains my heart on the treadmill of training my children's hearts for Him.
"For while we are still in this tent, we groan, being burdened—not that we would
be unclothed, but that we would be further clothed, so that what is mortal may
be swallowed up by life."
2 Corinthians 5:4
"And you show that you are a letter from Christ delivered by us, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts."
2 Corinthians 3:3
