OUR LIBRARY

 

{So many memories here...a home away from home of sorts...and back to school is in the air.}

 

"You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when

you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise."

Deuteronomy 6:5-7

SLOW LIVING

It's a slow thing to have 11 children, even slower when 7 of them are under 7. I tend to say if we're not early, we'll be late...so we always aim for early. This takes time. The day we jumped from 6 to 8 was the day our life officially slowed to snail pace, though we had been in transition a while. And this year when we grew by 3 more, the progression toward slow sped up fast. This is where God has us.

Slow.

And it feels just right.

"And [Jesus] said to them, 'Come away by yourselves to a secluded place and rest a while.'
(For there were many people coming and going, and they did not even have time to eat.)"
Mark 6:31

 

Of course fellowship with the body of Christ is always on our hearts. We have an open door and enjoy inviting others in to walk slowly together for the day in friendship, encouragement, sharpening, meals, prayer. We value God's workmanship through relationships.

"Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality."
Romans 12:13

I used to pray for a "house that absorbs guests", words I had read in an article well over a decade ago now (maybe even 10 children less). They were words that stuck firm in my mind and here we are today. We pray that our home might have a sense of refuge, that it/we might offer a soft place to land, a place to fill a cup, a safe retreat from the pressure cooker outside. This is how we experience and commune with the Lord and it's how we offer Him to minister through us, both for our nuclear family as well as for those who stop in.

Yet, we're well aware that if we're to have something of value worth offering our guests,
we'll need to have walked slowly through the interim. We'll need to have been with Jesus.

"When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men,
they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus."
Acts 4:13

Indeed, we enjoy open doors with people wafting through as readily as the breezes. But such days are scattered amongst the slow.
We're cautiously protective of God's intentional tool in our lives...Time. We need it. We prioritize it...makes me think of Mary.

"Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet and listened to his teaching. But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, 'Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.' But the Lord answered her, 'Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary.
Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.'"
Luke 10:38-42

It's a tall order, this life of family discipleship. We take our role in our children's lives seriously. We intentionally invest our time. And though much of our time is spent usefully, purposely industrious, we likewise purpose nothingness, available for the unknowns of a day.
We set aside our time for the being together that equals slow living. We love it. Guard it. Dedicate it to the God who is not
bound by time Himself. The Creator, He spends time freely, knowing exactly how he intends to use it, use us.

"With the Lord one day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day."
2 Peter 3:8

Yes, God uses time...and so do we...thoughtfully.

We want to make the best use of our time and for us that equals slow living,
which in turn means knowing how to say no in a sandpapery yes-Martha-world.

It's best not to feel guilty about this, but rather, own the goal.

"Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise,
making the best use of the time, because the days are evil."
Ephesians 5:15-16

So we pray, play, worship, read, learn, work, rest, invest, cook, bake, eat, build, grow, ponder, create, LOVE together in our days.
We make messes, clean up messes, make mistakes, work to fix mistakes, sin, repent, forgive, repeat. We wear clothes, wash clothes,
take road trips on the fly. We offer hugs, receive hugs, find ourselves sitting on the floor. And so the list goes on and on as we strive to train our children, as we delight in enjoying time with our children and the Lord. We don't just want to prepare them, we also want to know them and we hope to do what God's asked of us...well. So, we do what we do slooowly, hold onto our priorities tight.

I can't imagine life any other way, walking alongside each other in this cherished season that we're in.

It's true that our little life may not be "simple" in the sense that we twirl many plates at all times, shepherding hearts and laboring for eternal souls. But in actuality our life really is just that...simple. Even so, we desire to take it down yet another notch when the Lord deems it's His time. We pray for a home environment and lifestyle accompaniment that will foster all the more the qualities that He's laid heavily upon our hearts as we raise up our children for His glory. 'Till then, we'll be taking things slowly right here, investing in matters of God's kingdom and His heart, their hearts, our hearts, other hearts outside our walls. One day at a time from early sunrise to sunset then sleep and all the beauty that transpires in between, we define our time and shield intently this ministry enveloped in slow living.

"Aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you."
1 Thessalonians 4:12

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me,
for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."
Matthew 11:28-30

BEA'S 5TH BIRTHDAY

We celebrated Bea's 5th birthday this past week...her 1st birthday home with us.

 

("flower cake"...Bea's special request)

 

We hoped she would feel special and I'm pretty sure she did!

 

 

If there is one thing Bea had been waiting for...it was her birthday!


(well documented here :))

Bea LOVES matching so we thought it might be fun for her to

open one special gift the night before her BIG special day:

 

To think of all that Bea has been through in the past year, it's actually quite incredible.

 

She moved from China to America, learned English, transitioned into our family, endured a major open heart surgery

with miracles included as we almost lost our girl not once but twice, and she has grown to know and love Jesus!

Bea is a very smart little girl. She has an extremely servant-hearted spirit, always willing and desiring to help. She is kind, sensitive, sweet, capable, tidy, joyful, expressive, communicative, thoughtful, mature, diligent, obedient, polite, intelligent in many different types of ways, gentle, an "old soul", and an all around special person. Bea is a gift from the Lord and we cherish her in our family!

Happy Birthday, Bea!! You are so very LOVED!!



"I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you."

Ezekiel 36:26

 

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart."

Luke 10:27



OUR TABLE

 

 

It's our spot...our table...a place where hearts are shared and I feel...blessed.

 

Thanking God today for coffee talks and special friends.

 

"A friend loves at all times."

Proverbs 17:27

PEEK-A-BOO WILLOW!

 

She uses a high squeaky voice when she talks to her baby sister.

She's been amazingly sweet and gentle with her.

 

"Peek-A-Boo Willow!"

 

I'm not sure who was more amused here.

 

Such a good big sister you are, Indi!

 

 

"Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God."

1 John 4:7

encouragement AFTER adoption

 

My Congolese daughter sings Chinese songs as she plays with the dollhouse her daddy made for her. The people in the play house

(our real house too) are many shades of ombre but she doesn't notice the difference...and it's beautiful.

Adoption is beautiful.

And he tells them that they're beautiful, teaching them to trust him with their hearts.
He knows he is a catalyst to them trusting Him with their hearts.

"A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling."
Psalm 68:5

We waited for these children, prayed pleas for these children, went to the ends of the earth for these children.

 

And we would do it all again.

"He executes justice for the fatherless."
Deuteronomy 10:18

We work tirelessly day in and day out to serve and train our children because we LOVE our children.

By God's grace and His plan, they are ours.

But, this wasn't always so.

Roots reveal pains unnoticed on a simple afternoon play date (unless we decide to divulge). Hearts carry burdens and scars much deeper than the years they age. Behavior points to complexities a toddler shouldn't own, but depravity leaves its mark. Woundedness, sin, forsaken lashes unfair so it seems, these little ones harbor pains they don't understand themselves.

But God does.

"The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit."
Psalm 34:18

And as adults and primary caregivers, we do. We see through to unseen places that dwell behind play date smiles. We know the hurts and coping mechanisms and how they manifest marred. We hurt with our children and curse the sin that got them here, though we praise the God who brought us here, and we long to fix what's broke. But brokenness isn't always easily repaired and schemes from the dark side rage against our efforts to win victory for souls. Though we know we're on the winning team, still the battle wages on.

 

"For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm."
Ephesians 6:12-13

"But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ."
1 Corinthians 15:57

And here's the thing, these hidden crevices, the ones that gape and bleed behind closed doors...they beckon Jesus fills them full and the truth is only He can. The truth is we're all bleeding. So we pray and wait and work ongoing, the starting lines Groundhog Day round.

This is ministry and therapy, our life as we forge forward. This is how we pour.

 

"And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you,
as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’"
Matthew 25:40

Every now and then I google some therapy of my own, scrapping for camaraderie or new ideas to beat demon's play. I'm always amazed how the search engines for "adoption encouragement" lead primarily to the starting line, an observation worth noting. It seems we're all more willing to bear wide open the pains of the waiting, praying, longing stage of the adoption process as we fight to bring our children home. It's an agonizing time full of life lessons, stretching, even heartache out the gate.

But what of the other side of the starting line? What of the empty holes that remain when ruins blurt disharmony in homes, when dreams don't all come true? Where do we find encouragement, vulnerability, and heart-on-sleeve confessions then? Do we want to share them? Read them? See them? Or is it easier to turn a blind eye in hopes of fairytales instead?

This is where Jesus shines.

"And when Jesus heard it, he said to them, 'Those who are well have no need of a physician,
but those who are sick. I came not to call the righteous, but sinners.'”
Mark 2:17

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me,
for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls."
Matthew 11:28-29

I'm not one to brush under carpets the filth that needs deep cleaning. I'd rather face it head on. Yes, this is uncomfortable,
but I ask myself, What did Jesus do when He saw a hurting heart? Did he smile and wave? Or did He get dirty?

It's very real and misunderstood, the aftermath of adoption, when orphans have seeped well into the sibling/son/daughter category, honeymoon phase complete...no longer a marathon to the line up, no longer a twinkle in the longing parent's eye. Rather, they're our kids. And shame might tempt a struggling parent to hold it all inside until another just like them offers knowing glances (or tear-saturated expulsions) from givens in their lives too. Cathartic friendship beckons we exhale 'cause we all long to feel understood. Indeed, the need for encouragement AFTER adoption is quite real and shockingly under addressed or admitted, even criticized sometimes.

 

But I'd like to encourage that it's ok to talk about it. It's ok to get raw. It's ok to need Jesus and the support of friends or others He sends when we come face to face with the reality that things are rough. It sure makes me feel better to meet in the middle of messes. And when we talk, us parents striving for healing and help in times of need, I melt at the feeling of being understood and I hope to offer the same reassurance to another. Mostly, I hope to point to the Comforter, Creator.

 

"Therefore encourage one another and build one another up."
1 Thessalonians 5:11

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort,
who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction,
with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God."
2 Corinthians 1:3-4

So here's to focusing on the positive, while being honest about real challenges. Here's to protecting our children's private journeys while also "going there". Here's to carrying burdens together as the body of Christ just should, opening up considerate but truthful dialogue in pursuit of honoring God in our woundedness and our children's woundedness and prayerfully offering encouragement AFTER adoption:

God is faithful.

God is sovereign.

He has ordained all things and holds the details of the universe in His wise hands.

He works all things for the good of those who love Him.

He knit each child fearfully and wonderfully within the womb for a purpose, knowing ALL their days before one of them came to be.

There is no plan B with God. Our circumstances are His plan A for our lives...and they are good.

It pleases the Lord when we lay down our lives for others, particularly the most vulnerable.

When we are weak, He is strong and He equips us for that to which He calls us.

We are not alone. We have Christ. We also have encouraging fellowship as He allows.

Jesus will never leave us or forsake us.

He will never leave or forsake our children.

He loves us, His children.

He loves us.

This is what the Bible says.

So, when the going gets tough and fear sets in and the starting lines pile up one on top of the other so that it seems the sky might fall, may we remember that life this side of heaven isn't supposed to be easy (though we love those days too!). We long for a perfect paradise in eternity one day, but it's a fallen world we live in now and sin destroys innocence here. Yet, the battle belongs to the Lord.

"The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still."
Exodus 14:14

"For the battle is the LORD’s."
1 Samuel 17:47

When we feel that the enemy taunts us, frolicking to and fro in our lives, determined so it seems to invoke destruction, we must remember that a target on back is a good sign we're not lukewarm. (I remind myself as I speak this to a friend.) And we don't want lukewarm because Jesus spits it out. We want to fight the good fight as we crusade to finish the race strong! We want to carry crosses and lay our lives down for others daily. This is what pleases the Lord who did the very same for us and He tells us to mirror His example.

"Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love,
as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God."
Ephesians 5:1-2

 

"Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called
and about which you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses."
1 Timothy 6:12

"By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers. But if anyone has the world's goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God's love abide in him?
Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth."
1 John 3:16-18

And so the battle goes, therapy and home lines blurred. We fight for the souls of our children, adopted and biological alike because parenthood and adoption are hard core ministry against an enemy that hates it. And cowering seems less complicated. (It is.) But that's not what we're called to as followers of Jesus Christ. Instead, we pick up our cross and bear it all with willing open hands.

Lord, help us to do impossible things and bear one another's burdens.

 

"Then Jesus told his disciples, 'If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.'"
Matthew 16:24
 

"Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ."
Galatians 6:2

"But Jesus looked at them and said, 'With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.'"
Matthew 19:26
 

So why not link up arms with others carrying loads? Why not expose the tuff stuff? Why not turn to Jesus for help in times of need and share with others the hope that we find? The Comforter wants to comfort. The Healer loves to heal and we believe that He is able! There is help to be found at all times...a Friend that sticks closer than a brother...One who wins victorious over sin and havoc and if we turn to Him in our distress what we find is that ultimately Jesus is our encouragement AFTER adoption. He is.

"I will put my trust in him...I and the children God has given me."
Hebrews 2:13

JESUS ACT STICK DATES...LATELY

We love our Jesus Act Stick reward system.

We've used it for many years without wane and truly it's been a tremendous blessing for our family!

All of the kids down to our 3 year olds earn sticks when we observe that they've exhibited selfless love or sacrificial servant-hearted behavior with a genuine heart. When they've earned 10, they get to pick a special date with Mommy or Daddy and it's our honor to reward their kind actions. We display our Jesus Act Stick jars in a focal point on the piano where they can be visibly built into our daily life. I enjoy seeing with my eyes and allowing our children to notice tangibly the benefits of a loving heart. The jars serve as a reminder.

"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another:

just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another."

John 13:34

We believe in the power of positive affirmation and encouragement and find that when we stop to point out our children's good fruit, they grow even more. Of course, parenting also involves pruning via discipline, but we find that when we emphasize the positive, we perpetuate more positive. Children and adults alike believe what's spoken into their lives (both positive and negative). This is why we are intentional to point out and reward Christlike actions with Jesus Act Sticks and one-on-one dates with Mommy or Daddy to follow, usually alternating from parent to parent and date to date. We like to take parent/child photos together each time, ensuring that we have stored up special time capsules over the years. We talk about deep hearted things and hold hands. The kids are built up, parents as a matter of fact too, and quality time memories are made...

It's a win, win!

Here's to documenting just a bit of our Jesus Act Stick dates...lately.

 . . . . . .

First up this time around was Brodie and Daddy.

These guys have such a sweet relationship...It's always a blessing to my heart when they do guy stuff.

They went out to dinner and shared chicken, chow mein, conversation. Then Brodie got to get a Lego set!

(This can tend to take a while for an easy going guy like Brodie...decisions, decisions.)

He had been eying this very cool helicopter set forever and since his dad likes such things equally,

they decided it was a go. Of course they had to build it right away and he hasn't put it down since.

I love Brodie's Lego mind. (It boggles mine.) Even more, I love his heart.

. . . . . .

Elka (mini-me in her new glasses...no more headaches, yay!) and I got to go out together next.

As always, we had a wonderful time together, sharing our hearts over

leisurely lunch at Souplantation, a favorite JAS date spot.

All Elka really wanted for her date was just to "sit and talk" (and bring an apple home for Bea :)).

I love how conversation matters so much to Elka. Communication is her thing...I have NO idea where she gets it!

She goes waaaay deeper than the average 10 year old (always has) and it's a joy to share time with my girl.

Elka, your generous heart to lay your life down for others is consistently encouraging!

I'm so glad you're YOU!

. . . . . .

For Aida's latest JAS date, she and her Daddy went for a hike. It's just their sort of thing.

They took a Bible and snacks and enjoyed a special time of

father-daughter fellowship at the top of their destination.

It's beautiful to see Brodie work so faithfully to invest in his daughter's heart.

I pray his efforts yield lifelong fruit. He loves his girl so, so much!!

Aida, we love you and value your heart to serve others readily.

. . . . . .

Next up, Nova and Daddy...

...headed off to Yogurtland!

YUUUUUMMMM!!!

Nova, you're such a precious girl! You serve our family with a joyful heart every day.

Daddy had so much fun watching you bounce to the music while you ate your yummy treat.

We love you SO, SO much!!!

. . . . . .

Boden is a guy's guy. He has a chivalrous heart and likes to do manly things. That said, it's really fun

to reward him for doing sacrificial things for others and this time he chose ICE CREAM!

Such a big boy these days, our Boden!

And such a sweet, sweet guy.

Boden, you bring our whole family much JOY!!

. . . . . .

Next up, Bea and Olia each earned their 10th Jesus Act Stick about the same time and since both girls had it in mind that they wanted to go get ice cream (a popular choice lately!), they decided to go together. Although the point of the JAS dates is one-on-one time, occasionally we allow/encourage buddy dates like this one as it helps siblings bond too. Today, that was the case.

 (2 of the sweetest girls I know)

After enjoying their treat, Daddy took them to the store to buy a little pool for the warm days we've been having.

So fun!!

Keep up the good work, girls. You're both such sweethearts! Thank you for all the times you ask,

"Mommy, what can I do to help you?" It blesses my heart and serves us so well.

. . . . . .

For Noble's date, he knew just what he'd like to do...and lucky me, I got to go!

So fun.

He had seen his sisters go shopping for clothes with Mommy, coming home after to do our traditional "fashion show" where we all gather round to see the new clothes. (Yes, he had his turn and he definitely got into it...such a great sport!) 

And what would a date be without some goodies after??

So off we went to our favorite shop on the corner and scored some great deals (even better with a gift card in hand).

Then Noble got a kids meal after, complete with chocolate milk and vanilla frosty, not to mention this:

Ya.

Noble was quite the gentleman insisting he open and hold the doors for me, holding my hand at every chance. He was so cute! I asked him deep questions and he answered thoughtfully. As for what he'd like to do when he's grown up like Daddy, he says the same thing every time. He wants to help the kids in Congo that don't have enough food to eat. I respond to his heartfelt ambition the same way every time as well, telling him if that's what God calls him to do when he's big, we'll do anything we can to help him achieve that goal just like any other goal he has. Noble has a very special and compassionate depth about him.

Noble, your heart is golden. It was a delight to spend the afternoon with you!

. . . . . .

Guess who earned her very first ever real live Jesus Act Stick date???

INDIAAAAAA!!!

For India's date, she had a very definite idea of what she wanted to do...

So off to the pool she went with her proud Daddy...splashing her heart out!

Wow! Inders, we are so proud of you for learning how to put others first and do kind and sacrificial things.

The way you're learning to love and serve, I'm sure you'll be earning many more Jesus Act Stick dates very soon!

. . . . . .

Not to be left out, lately it seems that Beck is catching on as well. Though he still tends to need others to do most things for him, he's starting to get the hang of doing basic things for himself. Such a big boy! He's also learning more each day about what it means to have a servant heart for others. Beck, you're such a sweetie pie. Your smile makes us smile. :)

. . . . . .

And that's a wrap on our Jesus Act Stick Dates...lately.

"In everything, therefore, treat people the same way you want them to treat you."

Matthew 7:12

DEVOTION SPOT

 

...at sunrise every day.

 

And he's growing up before my eyes. Lord, please keep his heart close to yours.

 

"I rise before dawn and cry for help; I hope in your words.
My eyes are awake before the watches of the night,
    that I may meditate on your promise."

Psalm 119:147-148

BEACH NIGHT

 

...at our favorite cove. So many memories and firsts here.

 

"Who builds his upper chambers in the heavens and founds his vault upon the earth;

who calls for the waters of the sea and pours them out upon the surface of the earth - the Lord is his name."

Amos 9:6

SNUGGLING WITH WILLOW

 

{She has a few fans.}

{And slow mornings are oh so sweet.}
 

"And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony."

Colossians 3:14

NAPPING WITH WILLOW

 

...another favorite thing...

 

"For he gives to his beloved sleep."
Psalm 127:2

ONE OF MY FAVORITE THINGS

 

{big brothers and baby sisters}

"Having purified your souls by your obedience to the truth for a sincere brotherly love,
love one another earnestly from a pure heart."
1 Peter 1:22

BODEN = JOY!

 

...literally ALL the time!

 

 

He dances through life.

 

("Everybody be happy")

 

He is the ultimate "turn-a-frown-upside-down" type of guy...

always has been, even when he was little.

 

(Awww!)

 

Willow thinks he's pretty cool too.

 

 

He doesn't sit still very long which makes for good entertainment.

Plus, he's been singing to her since she was in my tummy...a familiar happy voice.

 

 

He's a gentleman, always concerned about taking care of the girls.

 

(Boden the knight...a typical scenario)

 

He's just an all around joyFULL person!

 

 

Boden, your JOY is wonderfully contagious!!

 

"The fruit of the Spirit is JOY!"

Galatians 5:22