My Congolese daughter sings Chinese songs as she plays with the dollhouse her daddy made for her. The people in the play house
(our real house too) are many shades of ombre but she doesn't notice the difference...and it's beautiful.
Adoption is beautiful.
And he tells them that they're beautiful, teaching them to trust him with their hearts.
He knows he is a catalyst to them trusting Him with their hearts.
"A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling."
Psalm 68:5
We waited for these children, prayed pleas for these children, went to the ends of the earth for these children.
Adoption is beautiful.
And he tells them that they're beautiful, teaching them to trust him with their hearts.
He knows he is a catalyst to them trusting Him with their hearts.
"A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling."
Psalm 68:5
We waited for these children, prayed pleas for these children, went to the ends of the earth for these children.
And we would do it all again.
"He executes justice for the fatherless."
Deuteronomy 10:18
We work tirelessly day in and day out to serve and train our children because we LOVE our children.
By God's grace and His plan, they are ours.
But, this wasn't always so.
"He executes justice for the fatherless."
Deuteronomy 10:18
We work tirelessly day in and day out to serve and train our children because we LOVE our children.
By God's grace and His plan, they are ours.
But, this wasn't always so.
Roots reveal pains unnoticed on a simple afternoon play date (unless we decide to divulge). Hearts carry burdens and scars much deeper than the years they age. Behavior points to complexities a toddler shouldn't own, but depravity leaves its mark. Woundedness, sin, forsaken lashes unfair so it seems, these little ones harbor pains they don't understand themselves.
But God does.
"The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit."
Psalm 34:18
And as adults and primary caregivers, we do. We see through to unseen places that dwell behind play date smiles. We know the hurts and coping mechanisms and how they manifest marred. We hurt with our children and curse the sin that got them here, though we praise the God who brought us here, and we long to fix what's broke. But brokenness isn't always easily repaired and schemes from the dark side rage against our efforts to win victory for souls. Though we know we're on the winning team, still the battle wages on.
"For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm."
Ephesians 6:12-13
"But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ."
1 Corinthians 15:57
And here's the thing, these hidden crevices, the ones that gape and bleed behind closed doors...they beckon Jesus fills them full and the truth is only He can. The truth is we're all bleeding. So we pray and wait and work ongoing, the starting lines Groundhog Day round.
This is ministry and therapy, our life as we forge forward. This is how we pour.
Ephesians 6:12-13
"But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ."
1 Corinthians 15:57
And here's the thing, these hidden crevices, the ones that gape and bleed behind closed doors...they beckon Jesus fills them full and the truth is only He can. The truth is we're all bleeding. So we pray and wait and work ongoing, the starting lines Groundhog Day round.
This is ministry and therapy, our life as we forge forward. This is how we pour.
"And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you,
as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’"
Matthew 25:40
Every now and then I google some therapy of my own, scrapping for camaraderie or new ideas to beat demon's play. I'm always amazed how the search engines for "adoption encouragement" lead primarily to the starting line, an observation worth noting. It seems we're all more willing to bear wide open the pains of the waiting, praying, longing stage of the adoption process as we fight to bring our children home. It's an agonizing time full of life lessons, stretching, even heartache out the gate.
But what of the other side of the starting line? What of the empty holes that remain when ruins blurt disharmony in homes, when dreams don't all come true? Where do we find encouragement, vulnerability, and heart-on-sleeve confessions then? Do we want to share them? Read them? See them? Or is it easier to turn a blind eye in hopes of fairytales instead?
This is where Jesus shines.
"And when Jesus heard it, he said to them, 'Those who are well have no need of a physician,
but those who are sick. I came not to call the righteous, but sinners.'”
Mark 2:17
"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me,
for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls."
Matthew 11:28-29
I'm not one to brush under carpets the filth that needs deep cleaning. I'd rather face it head on. Yes, this is uncomfortable,
but I ask myself, What did Jesus do when He saw a hurting heart? Did he smile and wave? Or did He get dirty?
It's very real and misunderstood, the aftermath of adoption, when orphans have seeped well into the sibling/son/daughter category, honeymoon phase complete...no longer a marathon to the line up, no longer a twinkle in the longing parent's eye. Rather, they're our kids. And shame might tempt a struggling parent to hold it all inside until another just like them offers knowing glances (or tear-saturated expulsions) from givens in their lives too. Cathartic friendship beckons we exhale 'cause we all long to feel understood. Indeed, the need for encouragement AFTER adoption is quite real and shockingly under addressed or admitted, even criticized sometimes.
as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’"
Matthew 25:40
Every now and then I google some therapy of my own, scrapping for camaraderie or new ideas to beat demon's play. I'm always amazed how the search engines for "adoption encouragement" lead primarily to the starting line, an observation worth noting. It seems we're all more willing to bear wide open the pains of the waiting, praying, longing stage of the adoption process as we fight to bring our children home. It's an agonizing time full of life lessons, stretching, even heartache out the gate.
But what of the other side of the starting line? What of the empty holes that remain when ruins blurt disharmony in homes, when dreams don't all come true? Where do we find encouragement, vulnerability, and heart-on-sleeve confessions then? Do we want to share them? Read them? See them? Or is it easier to turn a blind eye in hopes of fairytales instead?
This is where Jesus shines.
"And when Jesus heard it, he said to them, 'Those who are well have no need of a physician,
but those who are sick. I came not to call the righteous, but sinners.'”
Mark 2:17
"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me,
for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls."
Matthew 11:28-29
I'm not one to brush under carpets the filth that needs deep cleaning. I'd rather face it head on. Yes, this is uncomfortable,
but I ask myself, What did Jesus do when He saw a hurting heart? Did he smile and wave? Or did He get dirty?
It's very real and misunderstood, the aftermath of adoption, when orphans have seeped well into the sibling/son/daughter category, honeymoon phase complete...no longer a marathon to the line up, no longer a twinkle in the longing parent's eye. Rather, they're our kids. And shame might tempt a struggling parent to hold it all inside until another just like them offers knowing glances (or tear-saturated expulsions) from givens in their lives too. Cathartic friendship beckons we exhale 'cause we all long to feel understood. Indeed, the need for encouragement AFTER adoption is quite real and shockingly under addressed or admitted, even criticized sometimes.
But I'd like to encourage that it's ok to talk about it. It's ok to get raw. It's ok to need Jesus and the support of friends or others He sends when we come face to face with the reality that things are rough. It sure makes me feel better to meet in the middle of messes. And when we talk, us parents striving for healing and help in times of need, I melt at the feeling of being understood and I hope to offer the same reassurance to another. Mostly, I hope to point to the Comforter, Creator.
"Therefore encourage one another and build one another up."
1 Thessalonians 5:11
"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort,
who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction,
with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God."
2 Corinthians 1:3-4
So here's to focusing on the positive, while being honest about real challenges. Here's to protecting our children's private journeys while also "going there". Here's to carrying burdens together as the body of Christ just should, opening up considerate but truthful dialogue in pursuit of honoring God in our woundedness and our children's woundedness and prayerfully offering encouragement AFTER adoption:
God is faithful.
God is sovereign.
He has ordained all things and holds the details of the universe in His wise hands.
He works all things for the good of those who love Him.
He knit each child fearfully and wonderfully within the womb for a purpose, knowing ALL their days before one of them came to be.
There is no plan B with God. Our circumstances are His plan A for our lives...and they are good.
It pleases the Lord when we lay down our lives for others, particularly the most vulnerable.
When we are weak, He is strong and He equips us for that to which He calls us.
We are not alone. We have Christ. We also have encouraging fellowship as He allows.
Jesus will never leave us or forsake us.
He will never leave or forsake our children.
He loves us, His children.
He loves us.
This is what the Bible says.
So, when the going gets tough and fear sets in and the starting lines pile up one on top of the other so that it seems the sky might fall, may we remember that life this side of heaven isn't supposed to be easy (though we love those days too!). We long for a perfect paradise in eternity one day, but it's a fallen world we live in now and sin destroys innocence here. Yet, the battle belongs to the Lord.
"The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still."
Exodus 14:14
"For the battle is the LORD’s."
1 Samuel 17:47
When we feel that the enemy taunts us, frolicking to and fro in our lives, determined so it seems to invoke destruction, we must remember that a target on back is a good sign we're not lukewarm. (I remind myself as I speak this to a friend.) And we don't want lukewarm because Jesus spits it out. We want to fight the good fight as we crusade to finish the race strong! We want to carry crosses and lay our lives down for others daily. This is what pleases the Lord who did the very same for us and He tells us to mirror His example.
"Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love,
as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God."
Ephesians 5:1-2
1 Thessalonians 5:11
"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort,
who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction,
with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God."
2 Corinthians 1:3-4
So here's to focusing on the positive, while being honest about real challenges. Here's to protecting our children's private journeys while also "going there". Here's to carrying burdens together as the body of Christ just should, opening up considerate but truthful dialogue in pursuit of honoring God in our woundedness and our children's woundedness and prayerfully offering encouragement AFTER adoption:
God is faithful.
God is sovereign.
He has ordained all things and holds the details of the universe in His wise hands.
He works all things for the good of those who love Him.
He knit each child fearfully and wonderfully within the womb for a purpose, knowing ALL their days before one of them came to be.
There is no plan B with God. Our circumstances are His plan A for our lives...and they are good.
It pleases the Lord when we lay down our lives for others, particularly the most vulnerable.
When we are weak, He is strong and He equips us for that to which He calls us.
We are not alone. We have Christ. We also have encouraging fellowship as He allows.
Jesus will never leave us or forsake us.
He will never leave or forsake our children.
He loves us, His children.
He loves us.
This is what the Bible says.
So, when the going gets tough and fear sets in and the starting lines pile up one on top of the other so that it seems the sky might fall, may we remember that life this side of heaven isn't supposed to be easy (though we love those days too!). We long for a perfect paradise in eternity one day, but it's a fallen world we live in now and sin destroys innocence here. Yet, the battle belongs to the Lord.
"The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still."
Exodus 14:14
"For the battle is the LORD’s."
1 Samuel 17:47
When we feel that the enemy taunts us, frolicking to and fro in our lives, determined so it seems to invoke destruction, we must remember that a target on back is a good sign we're not lukewarm. (I remind myself as I speak this to a friend.) And we don't want lukewarm because Jesus spits it out. We want to fight the good fight as we crusade to finish the race strong! We want to carry crosses and lay our lives down for others daily. This is what pleases the Lord who did the very same for us and He tells us to mirror His example.
"Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love,
as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God."
Ephesians 5:1-2
"Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called
and about which you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses."
1 Timothy 6:12
"By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers. But if anyone has the world's goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God's love abide in him?
Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth."
1 John 3:16-18
And so the battle goes, therapy and home lines blurred. We fight for the souls of our children, adopted and biological alike because parenthood and adoption are hard core ministry against an enemy that hates it. And cowering seems less complicated. (It is.) But that's not what we're called to as followers of Jesus Christ. Instead, we pick up our cross and bear it all with willing open hands.
Lord, help us to do impossible things and bear one another's burdens.
and about which you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses."
1 Timothy 6:12
"By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers. But if anyone has the world's goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God's love abide in him?
Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth."
1 John 3:16-18
And so the battle goes, therapy and home lines blurred. We fight for the souls of our children, adopted and biological alike because parenthood and adoption are hard core ministry against an enemy that hates it. And cowering seems less complicated. (It is.) But that's not what we're called to as followers of Jesus Christ. Instead, we pick up our cross and bear it all with willing open hands.
Lord, help us to do impossible things and bear one another's burdens.
"Then Jesus told his disciples, 'If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.'"
Matthew 16:24
Matthew 16:24
"Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ."
Galatians 6:2
"But Jesus looked at them and said, 'With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.'"
Matthew 19:26
Galatians 6:2
"But Jesus looked at them and said, 'With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.'"
Matthew 19:26
So why not link up arms with others carrying loads? Why not expose the tuff stuff? Why not turn to Jesus for help in times of need and share with others the hope that we find? The Comforter wants to comfort. The Healer loves to heal and we believe that He is able! There is help to be found at all times...a Friend that sticks closer than a brother...One who wins victorious over sin and havoc and if we turn to Him in our distress what we find is that ultimately Jesus is our encouragement AFTER adoption. He is.
"I will put my trust in him...I and the children God has given me."
Hebrews 2:13
"I will put my trust in him...I and the children God has given me."
Hebrews 2:13
