Even our pediatrician questioned...and surely the odds were stacked against us.
But, that's never an issue when God has a plan.
"But we were gentle among you, like a nursing mother taking care of her own children."
1 Thessalonians 2:7
I never thought we would adopt such a young infant. I also thought we were adopting two little {boys}...but God knows best and He's in charge and we're following His lead. Isn't it reassuring to know that we don't need to have all the answers, that we can (and should) take a back seat in our own lives, that there is a sovereign God who can be trusted?
For me, nursing an adopted child has never seemed unrealistic or unnatural. When we found out we would be adopting such a young baby, I assumed I would breastfeed so long as the child would respond. India is my daughter, and just as I would choose to nurse my biological child, I've chosen to nurse her. I did the research, I read and read and prayed and prayed, and really I never doubted that we would share this special relationship as mother and infant...and so it has come to be.
There isn't a ton of literature on adoptive breastfeeding, but what there is to read could make a mother nervous. At a minimum, it could make her overthink something that is actually extremely intuitive. So, just like so many other aspects of our adoption process, I chose not to overthink. I chose to trust. I chose to ignore the nay-sayers. I chose to follow my maternal instincts and try...
I had always wondered if the reason God had kept my nursing relationship with Boden in tact was so that I would have this opportunity with India and it seems that was the case. Many wondered about our decision to have Brodie travel alone to Congo to bring our children home, but we never waivered, knowing this was the right decision for our family in this season.
I couldn't have dropped my nursing relationship with Boden cold turkey, and I wouldn't have weaned him without his cue. I couldn't have breastfed India upon arrival in the DRC without proper (negative) lab results (which we now have, praise God!), and I wouldn't have nursed her until we were established back home with a go ahead from the doctors. Our short term sacrifices have resulted in a long term reward and the payoff has proved worth while. Both little ones are able to nurse and we are benefiting from the bonding that results. What a gift!
Every family is unique. Each mother and child is different. Every adoptive process is going to play out in individualized ways according to God's specialized plans. There isn't a right or wrong when it comes to a decision as personal as this and certainly bonding is more dependent upon parental response to a child's cues than upon the source of nourishment. My tactics and strategies to bond with Noble will look different they do with India...and that's okay.
All things considered, I'm grateful for the path God has chosen for us, for the intricacies of each of our adoptive relationships, for the privilege of bonding uniquely with each of my children, and for the sweet gift God's given to India and me as mother and daughter to experience the joy and nurturance of adoptive breastfeeding.
"Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift!"
2 Corinthians 9:15
"You shall nurse, you shall be carried upon her hip, and bounced upon her knees.
As one whom his mother comforts, so I will comfort you."
Isaiah 66:12-13
