CHINA ADOPTION UPDATE #2

We're almost ready.

 

After nearly 6 months of scurrying, then waiting, working hard, then being still, taking quick action, and then doing nothing for weeks at a time...we're nearly to the finish line of getting our China dossier logged in.

 

When we began this adoption process, we knew we might go to all this effort only to miss the opportunity to be matched with the little one we've prayed for and loved for over 2 1/2 years now.

It's going to come down to days at this point...and of course, God's perfect will.

 

Each month or so, China puts out a new "shared list" of children ready to be matched with adoptive families. The child we've been pursuing will be on one of those lists any day. With each list that comes out without him on it, I wonder more and more if God's plan really will be to bring him into our family. If we are logged in before his file is released, then our agency has the chance to try and get it for us, and even then they may not be able to do so. If he is on a list that comes out in the next week or so before we are logged in, then most likely he will be matched to another family as a regular referral.

 

It's definitely a challenge for me to imagine him being placed with another unknowing family as a blind referral when we feel as though he's been a special part of our family in way for well over 2 years now. He's so personal to us.

But should it be the Lord's sovereign plan to place him into another family, I can't change that and 

I wouldn't want to change that, because I believe God's plan is best.

 

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope."

Jeremiah 29:11

 

There have been tears over the prospect of never holding in my arms this boy I've held in my heart for so long now.
He is a part of my mommy-heart story and I'll always love him and pray for him no matter where he may be.
How I long for him to come into our family, though. I've had to work very intentionally on holding him loosely because my natural inclination is deep, wide, mother's love for this child I've never met.

 

How do I LOVE someone so dearly whom I've never met??

 

It's perplexing, but God has a plan.
He has used our love for this child to bring us to this place
and He will use our love for the Lord to accomplish the best outcome to this story.

 

"I love the LORD, because he has heard my voice and my pleas for mercy.

Because he inclined his ear to me, therefore I will call on him as long as I live."

Psalm 116:1-2
 

 In preparation for the "what ifs" of this adoption process, we have written all of our paperwork up for 2 children, both genders, including a broad age range. We did this because we didn't know if we would miss out on adopting the boy we are pursuing, then choose to adopt another child, then face a "what if" scenario if something fell through with his adoption process.

If that were to happen, we figured being prepared for 2 would allow us the opportunity to still adopt him should he become available for adoption yet again. After all, that's what happened with the beautiful Joy and Linda story last year :) and we've seen the Lord work it all out for His wonderful glory! We want to be prepared.

 

Now, here we find ourselves in this place of being SO close to ready, SO many "what ifs" on the table, SO many unanswered questions and daydreams of how this may all play out...and I pause...quietly, intentionally, still beyond my human ability.

"Be still, and know that I am God."
Psalm 46:10

"The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent."
Exodus 14:14

 

"The LORD has established his throne in the heavens, and his kingdom rules over all."
Psalm 103:19
 

 There are NO "what ifs" with God. He does not contend with questions or daydreams of how things may or may not pan out. There is simply a wise, loving, eternal, purposeful, holy, perfect plan that He determined long ago for His best outcome of HIS amazing story. That He would even think to jot us in swells gratitude for our minuscule role, yet that is what He's done. He's let us in on this piece of His puzzle. He's grafted us into His family and He's allowed us the privilege to adopt children into ours in His name.

What an honor!

 

Over the course of the past 2 months (since we were told our little one's paperwork might be available within 1-2 months), we met a boy who opened our hearts to the idea of more. He taught us more of God's compassion for the needy and reminded us of how we are His hands and feet here on earth. He helped us to see that we have even more room in our hearts than we knew. He brought the millions of orphan faces to life, yet again, who need families to step in and we're open.

 

We're open to more. We desire more. More of Him, less of us, and yes, even more children should that be God's plan. We accept that all we have to give is His love. We come to the table empty-handed. But, God's storehouse is abundant, unending, overflowing. His love poured out through empty vessels like us is boundless. It has NO end! He is more. He is more than we could ever dream to be. He is perpetually more of what we need when we find ourselves depleted. He is consistently more of what we have to give.

 

"For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God."

Ephesians 3:14-19

 

We track back to our original homestudy report and wonder why the Lord had us write it all up for 2. Could there be another child in our future we never saw coming? We don't know the answers to these questions, but what we do know is that the Lord has established His throne in the heavens, and His kingdom rules over ALL. (Psalm 103:19) He knows ALL the plans He has made for us to fulfill His purposes while we live here on earth. (Jeremiah 29:11) He knows ALL the days. (Psalm 139) He has called us out and asked us to give Him more of our lives, even to lose our lives for the sake of His glory.

 

And we say YES.

 

We just say,
"Yes, Lord.
Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
May we spend ourselves for YOUR GREAT NAME. 
May we embody your LOVE for the needy.
May we be your temple.
May you multiply your love for others THROUGH us as we give ALL we have to you.
Please use us, spend us, extend us, Lord, in whatever way you choose. 
We are yours."

 

That's our honest prayer in this hour. We don't know what's around the bend, but we know it's good.
I spoke with a missionary recently of his grueling work and he made himself very clear:

 

"I want to get to heaven all beaten and bruised and worn and tattered and SPENT for the sake of the gospel," he said.

 

And, I second his wise words. He knows his life isn't about here, except for how it impacts there...eternity.
It's just life on earth and he knows.

 

"Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it."
Matthew 10:39

 

So, we say YES...to whatever the Lord deems best through this adoption journey He called us into.
We stepped in without a clue as to where we were headed, but we knew it was God's will. He confirmed it!
He busted open tightly closed doors and prepared the way He'd like us to be used in this season because HE KNOWS.
He knows precisely what He's doing and He's chosen to let us take part in the journey.

 

This life is not ours. It's not about us. It's about Jesus Christ. And His love controls us. His love beckons we do uncomfortable things. His LOVE leads hearts into beautiful stories of faith and trust in a Father God who reigns in heaven and on earth and we trust Him.

To be continued...(again)...

 

"For the love of Christ controls us."

2 Corinthians 5:14

 

"Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen."

Ephesians 3:20-21