There are times I find myself sitting on the floor...
as in right smack dab in the middle of the kitchen on the hard wood floors, criss cross applesauce style.
Why??
“So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them."
Matthew 7:12
Before we adopted Noble and India, Show Hope gave us a DVD series by TCU Institute of Child Development and Dr. Karyn Purvis of Empowered to Connect. They contained a TON of information about post-adoptive issues and helpful strategies to promote understanding and healing in the adoptive family. It was definitely a wealth of knowledge and wisdom.
Her body language and tone of voice, the look in her sympathetic eyes told the children she sought to help that they were special, that they were worth her time and attention. It was HOW she engaged the children physically and emotionally that spoke out loud to my heart. I've added her wise choices to my parenting ever since...and consequently, I've spent lots of time sitting on the floor.
When I think back on the DVDs and how Dr. Purvis would relate with a child having a hard time, I remember most profoundly how she would plop herself right down on the floor (no matter where) and get herself to eye level with the hurting child. Even a simple Google search of her name yields photos of Dr. Purvis on the floor. It's an intentional part of her nurturing style. She speaks with voice intonations that communicate compassion and empathy. She uses hand gestures to delicately tell the child that she is safe and invested. She stops everything she is doing in the midst of a child's trial and meets him or her right where they are in order to let them know that she's there for them, all in. In essence, what she aims to communicate to a child in need is that he or she is important and that what they are feeling is valuable and worth listening to. Her actions give the child a voice.
I think of my own grown up self. How do I feel when I'm hurting for whatever the reason?
And, what do I wish others would do for me then? Meet me where I am?
Listen to my heart? Come to my level and communicate to me that I'm valuable and understood?
If these are the things I'd like when I need support, if this is how Jesus is there for me, then that's what I want to offer to my children just the same. I'd really like my children (and anyone for that matter) to remember me one day as someone who offered a soft place to land, a listening ear, understanding and genuine empathy in their time of need. I think that's what Jesus would do.
"But Jesus said, 'Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them.'"
Matthew 19:14
"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart,
and you will find rest for your souls."
Matthew 11:28-29
One way I've realized I can communicate powerful encouragements to my children like Dr. Purvis models is by sitting on the floor. When they're hurting, when I'm correcting, when we're praying, when we're playing...there's something to be said for sitting square on the floor, down on their level, nowhere to be but right then and there, all in.
Especially when it comes to discipline or correction and in particular when a child is having a hard time, even a tantrum, I've taken a nod from the wise Dr. Karyn Purvis. I've been known to lightly lift a chin with my hand and look deeply into hurting eyes with a gaze that speaks volumes past words. It's not uncommon for me to stop everything and anything to deal with a hurting heart.
And, for whatever the reason we've found it most helpful when we're gazing and hugging and crying and restoring and empathizing, loving, and holding and teaching while sitting together on the floor.
"Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.
No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us."
1 John 4:11-12
And, for whatever the reason we've found it most helpful when we're gazing and hugging and crying and restoring and empathizing, loving, and holding and teaching while sitting together on the floor.
"Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.
No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us."
1 John 4:11-12
