SURGERY...AGAIN

So...my first surgery was unsuccessful. I've never worked so hard for (seemingly) nothing in my life.

 

BUT, the truth is that even though it seems there was a failure to accomplish the goal,

there was actually a mammoth victory in my heart. I've learned to trust God more.

 

SUCCESS!

 

The world and my flesh-full heart has got it all wrong.

We think of "success" in terms that don't always regulate with God's perspective.

 

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts,

neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth,

so are my ways higher than your ways
    and my thoughts than your thoughts."

Isaiah 55:8-9

 

Today, I go in for surgery #2. I'll admit I'm praying for the medical goals to be achieved. However, if God's best plan for my heart (which matters infinitely more than my kidney...literally) should include another "unsuccessful" surgery, then I will accept.

 

I accept that God has an eternal plan. He loves me. He loves my family. His plans are always good, even when they seem like defeat in an earthly sense. His ways are higher than mine and I can trust Him. I do.

 

So, I'm off to surgery...again...less fearful than the first time, and confident that God has done a work in me since then.

One day at a time through recovery, I know He will meet me closely as He did before. That's a communion worth savoring.

 

I remind myself too that it's ok to not be ok, should I waver or feel afraid. The Lord my God will be with me wherever I go...

in the comfort of home, in the vulnerability of the operating room...He is always near. He will remind me not to doubt.

 

If waves should roar or my feet begin to fail, HE is Who I will be focusing on...today...and forever.

 

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened,

and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.”

Joshua 1:9