GOAT MILK

Nigerian Dwarf goats are a small dairy breed known for good milk production. In spite of their size (and "dairy" goat label), they can produce quite a bit of quality milk daily with enough butter fat to make cheese...that is, non-dairy cheese...which works out great for Elka who has always been a bit sensitive to milk products. Win! Elka couldn't wait to milk her goat! She wondered how/if it would work?!

Dream come truuuuuuue!!!

Oh, the squeals when everyone saw the creamy milk streaming into the jar!

It was a full family affair, especially since we still need to build a milking stand!

But it was a fun (funny??) moment to see Elka finally milk her goat...one of the perks of having a mama/baby combo.

Daisy got right to nursing afterward (in between her dancing, twirling, and rock jumping adorableness) and clearly there was still milk for her too. Elka is trying to bottle feed her some as well, since we've been told that makes for a very loyal and attached goat. However, ironically, Poppy likes the bottle better than Daisy so far. Still, Elka keeps trying. They are SO CUTE!!

Daisy loves her mama...Poppy loves her baby...and we all love them both.

Here's to another fun adventure and learning experience for all...GOAT MILK.

"There will be enough goats' milk for your food, for the food of your household."

Proverbs 27:27

NOVA IS...

THE SWEETEST SWEETIE PIE IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD

WITTY

TEENY TINY

GENTLE

KIND

INTELLIGENT

OBEDIENT

MINIATURE

("fun size" as her siblings say)

PLAYFUL

A DANCER

A SINGER

AN ARTIST

(I love her detailed pencil drawings!)

ADORABLE

YOUNG AT HEART

(She's not in a hurry to grow up.)

A FAITHFUL FRIEND

A PRECIOUS DAUGHTER

(both to us and the King)

A CONSISTENT BLESSING IN OUR FAMILY!

NOVA IS...

8!

(How fun to see Nova's lifelong dream come true this past year...a fluffy white puppy, Lily!)

HAPPY 8th BIRTHDAY NOVA!

You are cherished, admired, respected, appreciated, loved, and completely adored!!

XO

"Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience...

And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony."

Colossians 3:12,14

WAITING...

Life is full of waiting...

Over the years, I've come to realize that although (to my chagrin) it's never going to be easy to wait, as the Lord graciously allows us to exercise our "waiting muscles", in contrast to my perception of loss, it does somehow get easier to wait the more we trust in Him.

"Wait for the Lord, be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord."
Psalm 27:14

I think back on my unsanctified impatience in the early days of learning how to wait. I consider the growing pains, stretching, ripping?! of my fumbling introduction...and I can see that by God's grace and through much toil, I have come to consider waiting upon the Lord an invitation to worship and spend time saturating in the practice of trusting Him.

"For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence,
for my hope is from him.
He only is my rock and my salvation,
    my fortress; I shall not be shaken.
On God rests my salvation and my glory;
    my mighty rock, my refuge is God.

Trust in him at all times, O people;
    pour out your heart before him;
    God is a refuge for us."

Psalm 62:5-8

Waiting...to miscarry...is a new type of waiting for me. I haven't done this before. I feel wobbly and inexperienced in this realm of motherhood/pregnancy, and being terribly nauseous still doesn't help any, if I'm honest. And yet, though circumstances vary from the waiting I've endured before (in some seasons for the course of many years!), I can see endurance the Lord has built up over time. I can feel the trust He gives. I can sing the song He sings. I can sense His control and my obvious lack thereof. Indeed, it is good to wait upon the Lord, knowing His timing and plans are wise, best. And what a privilege to suffer anyhow for the sake of one more soul in heaven rejoicing for all eternity with Jesus! Yes, this is worth it all and He's working on me too while I wait.

"I waited patiently for the Lord; he inclined to me and heard my cry.
He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog,
and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure.
He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear, and put their trust in the Lord.

Blessed is the man who makes the Lord his trust."

Psalm 40:1-4

So as I wait and press in to the One who scripts the future, there is rest for this soul of mine in the refuge of the Lord. He gives a peace that is not of this world. He satisfies with Himself. He helps me when I'm weak, knowing He is strong. And, He settles a quiet heart within me, so long as my gaze remains fixed steadfast upon Him. Practically speaking, I don't find myself counting seconds until the process begins. In fact, I'd much rather carry on with life as usual, yet prayerful with intention. We pray and ask the Lord to intervene and heal, but we trust that He knows when. We know, by faith, that He has purpose in all things, including timing and this knowing offers peace.

"You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.
Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord God is an everlasting rock."

Isaiah 26:3-4

As days turn into weeks of waiting for closure to this loss, it's a safe and comforting feeling to release my desires to Jesus. It's a daily letting go and an intentional fixation on the Word that allows my heart to be still. It's a decision to let go and let God be God, to think of Him, not me. The clock ticks and the calendar scrolls. The sun rises and then sets, again. Yet through it all, there is a constant Friend, sticking closer than a brother and He loves and comforts and satisfies and holds me in the shelter of His wing as I'm here in the waiting...

"O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you;
my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you,
    as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.
So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary,
    beholding your power and glory.
Because your steadfast love is better than life,
my lips will praise you.
So I will bless you as long as I live;
    in your name I will lift up my hands.

My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food,
    and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips,
when I remember you upon my bed,
    and meditate on you in the watches of the night;
for you have been my help,
    and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy."

Psalm 63:1-7

COLORING PSALMS

{a cherished gift from a thoughtful friend}

How I love the Psalms...She knows.

What a perfect way to meditate on the Word in this season.

"Bless the Lord, O my soul,

and all that is within me,
    bless his holy name!
Bless the Lord, O my soul,
    and forget not all his benefits,
who forgives all your iniquity,
    who heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit,
    who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,
who satisfies you with good
    so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's."

Psalm 103:1-5

LOSS

This is not the first time my heart has felt the bitter sting of loss. I'm no stranger to grief.

And yet, the truth is it doesn't get any easier each time. In the same way the nausea is just as real and swallowing, in the same way the butterflies leapt for joy in my heart at the secret in my womb, it didn't matter how many times I'd felt those feelings before.

They were just as alive and vibrant as the first time I'd felt it all...and so it goes with loss.

"Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved."

Psalm 55:22

Loss.

It has a way of beckoning us to the Savior, the One who holds our tears in His bottle, the One who cares intimately,

the One who knows the grief and feels it right alongside us. Yes, Jesus knows and comforts.

"But I call to God, and the Lord will save me. Evening and morning and at noon...he hears my voice."

Psalm 55:16-17

Psalm 119 reminds me that the Teacher uses loss, pain, suffering, grief, affliction to mold us Potter/clay. Everything He does has value. None of our tears are lost through loss, though loved ones or dreams may be. He employs our mourning as an agent of His grace, striking folly and embedding wisdom to make us more like Him, to encourage us to fall more in love with Him and His Word.

"Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I keep your word.
You are good and do good; teach me your statutes.

It is good for me that I was afflicted, that I might learn your statutes.

The law of your mouth is better to me than thousands of gold and silver pieces.

Your hands have made and fashioned me;

give me understanding that I may learn your commandments.

Those who fear you shall see me and rejoice, because I have hoped in your word.

I know, O Lord, that your rules are righteous, and that in faithfulness you have afflicted me.

Let your steadfast love comfort me according to your promise to your servant.
Let your mercy come to me, that I may live; for your law is my delight."

Psalm 119:67-68,71-77

And so, in this way and with a heart of understanding my sight struggles to see through the teary blur. I want to know the comfort of the Lord, become more capable of expressing it to others. I want to be more like Him and be able to appreciate His wise (though prickly at times) plans for me, for us, even if this means loss.

"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."

James 1:2-4

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort,
who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction,
with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God."
2 Corinthians 1:3-4

So thank you, Lord, for in faithfulness you have afflicted me. May I count it all joy and even be able to rejoice in the suffering I feel right now knowing that you know what you are doing, knowing our baby is in Paradise with you,

knowing that you are right here with me too as I endure this loss.

"You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle.

You have recorded each one in your book."

Psalm 56:8

ELKA'S BDAY...ELKA'S GOATS

Elka is FUN!

She is loving and compassionate, accepts people as they are, gives the shirt off her back, and is always willing spirited and flexible.

Elka is an artist, a chef, an animal lover, a nurturer, a devoted disciple of Jesus Christ, and servant hearted to the core.

When I think of Elka, I picture some sort of creative scenario accented with color such as this:

Yep, that's my girl!

This year, we waited a few extra days to celebrate Elka's birthday because we were hoping to get her goats.

For several days, it rained and various circumstances just didn't line up until.....

Today, we saw a dream come true!

What a wonderful way to celebrate Elka's birthday!

What a joy to see Elka with her precious goats!

Welcome to the family, Poppy and Daisy! You'll be so very loved!

HAPPY 12th  BIRTHDAY ELKA
(How is it that you are 12?! You seem much more like 22!)

You are such a special young lady and we love you SO SO much!!

XO

"A longing fulfilled is sweet to the soul."
Proverbs 13:19

MY DAUGHTER

I washed her hair while she giggled.

She needed a little TLC...so we had some mommy/daughter time.

And this sign hung just to my right, intentionally reminding me of the beauty before me, reminding me of the responsibility, reminding me of the cost and the worth and the metaphor and the love that Christ poured out for me, washing me white as snow.

He takes us as we are, calls us His own, and grafts us in.

He loves us and shepherds our wandering hearts with boundless, merciful compassion. Oh, to be more like Him!

(pretty girl)

And it was so fun to make her feel special this regular afternoon.

My India...my daughter...Mommy loves you.

"See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are."

1 John 3:1

2016...YEAR IN REVIEW

2016...Once again, it was a BIG year!

As we ceremonially burned the 2016 paper calendar, I couldn't help but reflect on all that God has done.

JANUARY...began with great uncertainty.

We moved out of our home of 10 years, not knowing exactly where we were going. It was a time of letting go and trusting God, knowing that although the future was extremely blurry at the time, He saw clearly all that He had planned. We trusted Him...and He led us every step of the way through wonderful adventures we'd never have experienced had we not stepped out of the boat.

God is faithful!

FEBRUARY...was our Love Month on the beach in our temporary in-between-houses home. In the course of the month, our housing situation resolved and uncertainties melted away exposing God's will for our next move with great clarity and certainty instead. It was a wonderful month of saturating in family time and the Word before embarking upon our next chapter.

MARCH...began our move into our new home. God had done it! He had moved mountains and what had seemed impossible became possible because of His will and provision. We rejoiced in the Lord, welcomed our first new pet to the family...Happy!

And yet, though dust had settled, it wasn't long before the boat began rocking again.

APRIL...was a month to once again rely heavily upon the Lord in the midst of trial and uncertainty. After just a month of settling into our new normal, we sent Brodie and Beck off to Stanford (for what would end up being 3 weeks) for Beck's first major open heart surgery. The results were miraculous! Thanks to the handiwork of God and the expertise of the surgeon, Beck's significant and complex corrections were all made in just 1 surgery and he shouldn't need any further open heart surgeries in the future. He is also going to start weaning off his meds this coming year which is major, especially considering we are still setting an alarm for his 2:00am dose. We will look forward to eliminating that from our daily routine as the Lord allows, and we are so extremely grateful for the lifesaving surgery He provided for Beck! As a side note to glorify God in His provision, we discovered this week that Beck's surgery was a $1.2 million endeavor, all of which is covered by our incredible insurance except for the airfare. Thank you Lord!!! What a Provider!!

MAY...With Beck's surgery behind us, we all exhaled and reentered the settling into our new home process. We welcomed Lily to the family as well as our 17 hens and 2 roosters, all of whom are still going strong, hens now laying over a dozen eggs/day. Praise the Lord!

In May, we also kicked off our first official church gathering here in our local community,

a blessing of this past year that keeps giving our hearts much to be thankful for!

JUNE...was a month of meeting new neighbors, experiencing horses...

...building a corral and finishing the chicken coop.

JULY...was a time to celebrate 17 years of marriage for Brodie and me.

We planted avocado trees along with the beginnings of our orchard and vineyard, all of which

we pray will bear fruit metaphorically as we invest in cultivating a home full of the real riches.

In July, we also blasted a wall out upstairs to turn bedroom 4 into the loft instead...

...and we welcomed our beloved pony, Winnie, to the family.

AUGUST...was an interesting time of detour for our family. As we opened the Scriptures, asking the Lord to swoop in, He began stirring our hearts, reminding us that although our new home is a blessing from Him, "it's not about us". He then catapulted us into a journey that leaves lasting gratitude and harvest yet to come.

SEPTEMBER...We'd been jolted. God wanted our attention and He got it. He beckoned our hearts to offer our new life and home back to Him in exchange for a life overseas in missions (something that has always been on the table for our family...and always will be really). We said yes. We researched and prayed and interviewed with 2 missions sending organizations, ultimately landing on the conclusion that the ministry here is still where He has us, with purpose, a renewed sense of purpose in fact, and we're all in...right here.

Also in September, as we prepared for Bea's next major open heart surgery, we were slammed with a curve ball that the surgeons prefer not to proceed, concluding that the benefits don't outweigh the risks for her at this point. In all these things, we trust the Lord...and still anticipate a potential heart transplant for our precious Bea someday.

OCTOBER...was a time to officially welcome fall and also Mabel to the family.

Investing wholeheartedly in our ministry here, we began praying about adoption again.

NOVEMBER...was a season of thanks as we celebrated our first Thanksgiving in our new home, incredibly grateful for all that the Lord has done in our lives since the same time last year. Indeed, we have MUCH to be thankful for!

And, although we didn't know it with certainty at the time, in November, the Lord had been preparing to bless us with our next miraculous gift from Him. He had created new life!

DECEMBER...Every year Christmas proves to be the most wonderful time of the year. We decked the halls, enjoyed countless games and puzzles by the fire, drank eggnog, hot chocolate, chai, and coffee with whipped cream as we traditionally do, and listened to and played our favorite music of the year. We focused on and saturated in the reverence of the birth of Christ, Savior come to save the world! There is no greater gift!

Now, as we welcome in the new year, reflecting upon all that God has done, anticipating all that He will do in a year, what stands out most to me is that...we trust Him. We trust that even when things are hard, He is good. Even when we can't see the future, He does. Even when we fail, He can't. Jesus Christ, Redeemer, Lover of our souls - He came to live and die and love in order to save the world, in order to adopt those who choose Him, to call us His children, beloved. He is for us...past, present, future.

Today, as I glance backward and look hopefully forward, I praise God for who He is and for how He writes stories so beautiful and winding. May 2017 shine for His glory and may we honor Him this coming year in all that He has planned and in all that He allows us to do...with and for Him. Here's to a new year full of endless possibilities and lots and lots of LOVE!!!

Welcome 2017!

"But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope:

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
'The Lord is my portion,' says my soul,
    'therefore I will hope in him.'"

Lamentations 3:21-24